Embracing the Dark Night

I thought I would continue the dark night concept for one more post and talk about the journey of life, where we often encounter moments that challenge our understanding of joy, meaning, and purpose. These moments can be likened to a “Dark Night,” a term that spiritual director Therese DesCamp uses to describe periods of profound struggle and introspection. She says that during these times, we may feel a loss of meaning, joy, and certainty, accompanied by doubt and self-doubt. Yet, as DesCamp poignantly illustrates, even in the depths of despair, there exists a flicker of light—a desire to take care of ourselves, to serve others and a capacity for compassion that can emerge from our darkest experiences.

This concept of the dark night is not new; it has been explored by mystics and spiritual leaders throughout history. When we are in our heads and nothing makes sense, just maybe the reason is not intellectual. It could represent a phase where an individual is grappling with their beliefs, confronting their fears, and often feel isolated from the divine or their sense of self. DesCamp acknowledges that during these times, feelings of sorrow and confusion can be overwhelming. However, she also emphasizes that the dark night is not merely a period of suffering; it is a transformative experience that can lead to deeper connections with others.

DesCamp’s reflections remind us that while we may feel lost, we are not alone in our struggles. The dark night can serve as a catalyst for growth, pushing us to look beyond ourselves and recognize the shared human experience of suffering. It is in this recognition that we can begin to cultivate compassion—not just for others, but for ourselves as well.

One of the most striking aspects of DesCamp’s experience during her dark night is her ability to find humor in life. Laughter, even in the face of adversity, can be a powerful tool for healing. It allows us to take ourselves lightly, to step back from the weight of our struggles, and to find joy in the absurdities of life. This ability to laugh, especially at ourselves, can serve as a reminder that we are all imperfect beings navigating a complex world.

That reminds me of a work trip Lynette, and I had taken to Italy, and we had parked our car for lunch in the square of a small town, with lots of people around. When we came back out from lunch there were no people in sight and our car had been broken into with everything stolen, including my passport. Lynette and I looked over the roof of the car and started laughing, because the truth is it was absurd.

Humor can act as a bridge, connecting us to others and reminding us that we share common experiences. When we laugh, we create moments of levity that can break through the heaviness of our circumstances. DesCamp’s insight encourages us to seek out these moments of joy, even when they seem elusive. By embracing laughter, we can foster resilience and maintain a sense of hope amidst the darkness.

Perhaps the most profound realization that emerges from DesCamp’s reflections is the idea that the dark night can enhance our capacity for compassion. In times of personal struggle, we often become more attuned to the suffering of others. The pain we experience can deepen our empathy, allowing us to connect with those around us on a more profound level. DesCamp notes that caring for others can sometimes be the only relief from our own suffering, highlighting the interconnectedness of our experiences.

When we work hard to shift our focus away from our own ego and towards the needs of others, we can find purpose and meaning even in the darkest of times. This shift in perspective can be transformative, as it allows us to transcend our individual struggles and engage with the world in a more meaningful way. By extending compassion to others, we not only alleviate their suffering but also create a sense of community and belonging that can be incredibly healing.

DesCamp’s journey through the dark night has led her to a profound awareness of the preciousness of all life. In moments of despair, we may lose sight of the beauty that exists around us. However, the dark night can heighten our appreciation for the simple joys and connections that make life meaningful. It reminds us that even in our darkest moments, there loves to be found.

This awareness can inspire us to cultivate gratitude for the relationships we have and the experiences we share with others. It encourages us to recognize the inherent value in every individual and to approach life with a sense of reverence. By embracing the preciousness of life, we can transform our suffering into a source of strength and resilience.

As we navigate our own dark nights, it is essential to remember that these experiences are not permanent. They are phases of our journey that can lead to greater self-awareness and connection. DesCamp’s insights remind us that even when we feel lost, we have the capacity to serve, to love, and to find joy amid sorrow.

In practical terms, how can we embrace the lessons of the dark night? I have been thinking of a few suggestions from my own times in the “Dark Night”.

Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledge your struggles without judgment. Hard to do right? Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise during difficult times and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.

Seek Connection: Reach out to others who may be experiencing their own dark nights. Share your experiences, listen to their stories, and offer support. Building a community of understanding can be incredibly healing.

Embrace Humor: Look for moments of levity in your life. (remember Italy) Find joy in the small things, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Humor can be a powerful antidote to despair.

Cultivate Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. This practice can help shift your focus from what is lacking to the abundance that exists in your life.

Engage in Service: Find ways to serve others, whether through volunteering, offering a listening ear, or simply being present for someone in need. Acts of kindness can create a sense of purpose and connection.

Tying all this together we can look at Therese DesCamp’s reflections on the dark night to offer a profound perspective on the human experience. While these periods of struggle can be challenging, they also provide opportunities for growth, connection, and compassion. By embracing the lessons of the dark night, we can emerge with a deeper understanding of ourselves and a greater capacity to love and serve others. I think I also need to make a point here about serving others, sometimes that means your own family, people at work, and so forth and not the stranger. In the end, it is through our shared experiences of suffering and joy that we find the light that guides us through the darkness.

Therese DesCamp, Hands Like Roots: Notes on an Entangled Contemplative Life (Santos Books, 2025), 108.