Unexpected Pause: Pain, Rest, Recover, Return Now

Good morning. I’m sorry I’ve been quiet for the past two months — I meant to be here, typing away, sharing thoughts and stories the way I usually do. But life had other plans. I went in for a routine medical test and, in one of those cruel ironies, my pancreas got mad.

If you’re like me, you probably didn’t know an organ could “get mad.” I sure didn’t. The word itself sounds almost childish, but the reality is anything but. When a pancreas flares into pancreatitis, the pain is immediate and absolute. I’ve experienced aches and illnesses before, but this was different — an intensity that made you question the limits of what your body can endure. Even in the hospital, when morphine and oxycodone were available, the medication only took the edge off. It felt like the center of me had become a furnace.

Because of that flare, everything stopped. Not metaphorically: everything. For seven weeks, the schedule I had carefully built — the morning coffee and email routine, the midday writing sessions, the calls with spiritual direction clients and my partners at the Spirit of EQ — simply ceased to exist. Work, social life, health routines, the daily rituals I thought were indispensable: all put on hold while survival became the singular task.

I want to be candid about what that felt like. For someone who makes a living by showing up consistently — as a writer, content creator, and consultant — the idea of stopping is terrifying. My identity is wrapped up in output. My inbox is where I measure my value, my calendar is where I feel important, and my projects are how I track progress. When pain crushed me into stillness, it pulled those metrics out from under me. At first, I panicked: deadlines loomed, Spiritual direction clients waited, opportunities risked slipping away. But panic didn’t help. It only exaggerated the discomfort.

Slowly, the more honest and human response came into focus: survival, rest, and acceptance. The body’s demand was nonnegotiable. I had to let go of the notion that productivity is the only valid form of presence. I had to unlearn the belief that my worth is tied to output. That was a humbling lesson for me being an “8”

There were practical repercussions I hadn’t fully anticipated. Projects stalled. Communications delayed. I felt the guilty twinge of disappointing people who relied on me. But what surprised me most was how people responded. Clients and colleagues sent messages that were less about deadlines and more about “Are you okay?” Strangers who follow my work left notes of concern. It reminded me that work is woven into a network of relationships, and in times of crisis those relationships are what truly hold us together.

Being forced to stop also uncovered something liberating which was perspective. With the daily noise quieted, I had room to reckon with what really matters. It’s cliché to say an illness is a “wake-up call,” but that’s the word I keep coming back to. How often do we live at a pace that demands constant forward motion, assuming there will always be more time to be present, to rest, to heal? The pancreas’s outburst demanded attention and recalibration. It singled out an uncomfortable truth — I had been ignoring signals my body sent for a long time.

I’m not sharing this for sympathy. I’m sharing it because so many of us carry on until something forces us to pause. Whether it’s illness, burnout, family emergencies, or an industry shift — the unexpected is always waiting around the corner. My pancreatitis taught me some concrete lessons I want to pass on, especially to anyone who juggles work that depends on consistent presence.

First: listen to your body early. It’s easy to dismiss minor aches or persistent fatigue as “just stress” or “too much coffee.” Early attention to those signs could prevent escalation. Second: build buffers into your work. Have a plan for delegation, automate where you can, and communicate clear expectations with clients and collaborators. When you’re forced to stop, having these buffers reduces the burden of the pause. Third: accept that rest is not failure. It’s strategy. Recovery is work too — it requires dedication, patience, and sometimes painful humility. Fourth: allow support in. Pride can isolate you, but asking for help is not weakness. It’s how communities are built.

On a day-to-day level, my recovery has been a process. There were hard days when even reading a sentence felt like too much. There were small victories: a clear afternoon without stabbing pain, the first walk to the corner store, the first paragraph that didn’t terrify me. The support of medical professionals, family, and friends has been indispensable. So has the quiet practice of noticing incremental improvement. If you’re going through something similar, I recommend keeping a recovery log. Record the little wins. They add up to the larger arc of healing.

Coming back to work has been tentative. I didn’t come back with a grand announcement; I started by answering a few emails, then writing short posts, then rebuilding the bigger pieces of work. There’s a new rhythm now — one that includes built-in breaks, earlier bedtimes, and a willingness to pause when something feels off. My calendar has a new hygiene: time blocked not for tasks but for rest. It strikes me as profoundly sensible and weirdly subversive in a culture that valorizes busyness.

This experience has also shifted my relationship to my audience and clients. I write because I love the exchange: ideas moving between minds, a moment of resonance. But I now recognize that sharing should be sustainable, not sacrificial. I can still aim for consistency, but not at the expense of health. Vulnerability has its place. I plan to be more transparent when life forces me to step back. Part of the job is not only producing work but communicating honestly about the human realities behind it.

Finally, there’s the question we all face after an interruption: What’s next? For me, it’s a reorientation rather than a restart. I don’t intend to abandon the work I love. I will continue writing, consulting.  But I will do it with new boundaries, with more attention to signals from my body, and with humility about what I can control. The unexpected will come again — that’s a certainty — but now I feel better equipped to respond.

If anything, I hope this short hiatus and the story behind it reminds you to consider your own buffers and boundaries. Pain and illness are indiscriminate teachers; they do their hardest work when we least expect them. My pancreas got mad and taught me how to listen. Maybe yours will teach you something different. Either way, the takeaway is the same: choose recovery as a form of resistance to a culture that celebrates constant doing. Choose health as a professional strategy, not an afterthought.

Thank you for sticking around. I’m back, grateful, and slowly finding my footing again. If you’ve had similar interruptions, I’d love to hear how you navigated them — the practical steps, the emotional adjustments, and the small rituals that helped you find your way back.

Seven Decades, A Journey of Learning and Sharing

Today, I thought I would take a moment to talk about myself, a topic I don’t often delve into with much depth. As I sit here, fingers poised over the keyboard, I find myself reflecting on the reasons why people write blogs. Is it to share knowledge, to connect with others, or perhaps to leave a small mark on the world? Truthfully, I wonder if my reasons are much different from those behind the wonderfully written blogs that populate the vast expanse of the internet. So here it is, a glimpse into my journey and the motivations that drive me to write.

In my seven decades of life, I’ve learned a few things. Most of these lessons have come from the mistakes I’ve made—those missteps I vowed never to repeat, only to find myself stumbling over them once more. It’s a humbling experience, realizing that despite our best intentions, we are all fallible. Yet, it’s through these very mistakes that I’ve grown, each one a steppingstone on the path of self-discovery.

This quest for understanding led me to seek out numerous trainings, each one a beacon of hope in my search for answers. I became a spiritual director and companion, a Master Certified Coach (MCC), a Narrative Enneagram teacher, and an emotional intelligence coach with Six Seconds, among other roles. Each title represents a chapter in my journey, a testament to my insatiable curiosity and desire to understand the human experience.

At the end of the day, what truly matters to me is working with other people. But let me be clear—it’s not because I believe I have all the answers. Far from it. Rather, I hope that, for some, I can be a light that illuminates their path, even if just a little. It’s a privilege to walk alongside others as they navigate their own journeys, offering support and guidance where I can.

The purpose of this blog, then, is to explore the issues that affect our society, to write about the things that impact us as a community. My hope is to offer insights, hope, or simply information that might resonate with someone out there. In a world that often feels fragmented and disconnected, perhaps these words can serve as a small bridge, connecting us through our shared experiences and understanding.

As I reflect on my life, I am reminded of the importance of community. We are, after all, social creatures, wired for connection. It’s in our interactions with others that we find meaning and purpose. Whether it’s a conversation with a friend, a shared moment with a stranger, or the simple act of listening, these connections end up being the threads that weave the fabric of our lives.

In my work as a spiritual director and coach, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing the resilience and strength of the human spirit. I’ve seen people overcome incredible odds, find healing in the face of deep wounds, and discover joy in the most unexpected places. These experiences have taught me that, no matter how dark the night, (dark night of the soul) there is always a glimmer of hope on the horizon.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the power of vulnerability. It’s in our willingness to be open and honest, to share our struggles and fears, that we find true connection. It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn time and again, as I navigate my own vulnerabilities and insecurities. But each time I choose to be vulnerable, I am reminded of the strength that lies in authenticity.

As I write this, I am filled with gratitude for the journey that has brought me here. It’s been a winding road, full of unexpected twists and turns, but each step has been a valuable part of my story. And while I may not have all the answers, I am committed to continuing this journey of learning and growth, both for myself and for those I have the privilege of working with.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read these words. Whether you’re a fellow seeker on this journey of life, or simply someone looking for a moment of connection, I hope you’ve found something here that resonates with you. As we navigate the complexities of our world, may we continue to seek understanding, to offer kindness, and to hold onto hope. After all, it’s in these small acts that we find the true essence of what it means to be human.

And since you joined me on this reflective journey today. I wonder If these words have resonated with you, and if so, I invite you to become part of this ongoing conversation. Share your thoughts, experiences, or questions in the comments below. Let’s build a community where we can learn from each other, support one another, and shine a light on the paths we walk together. If you know someone who might find value in these reflections, please share this blog with them. Together, we can create a ripple of connection and understanding in our world. Subscribe to stay updated on future posts, www.spiritofeq.com/blog and let’s continue this journey of growth and discovery side by side.

Embracing Our Ancestors: A Living Legacy of Strength

In the confusion that many of us find ourselves in modern life, it’s easy to become disconnected from the past. We often find ourselves so focused on the present and the future that we forget to look back and appreciate the rich tapestry of history that has shaped us. Yet, as Steven Charleston, Choctaw elder and retired Episcopal bishop, points out, our ancestors are not just figures of the past; they are a living source of strength and wisdom that can guide us through the challenges we face today.

Charleston’s words remind us that the struggles we encounter are not unique to our time. Our ancestors faced their own battles—fear of illness, heartbreak, family conflicts, and the looming threat of war. They lived in a world where corrupt politicians held power and natural disasters struck without warning. Despite these challenges, they persevered, driven by love, faith, and an unwavering determination to carry on. You can know this to be true, as you are here now, smile.

This resilience is a testament to the human spirit. Our ancestors walked through life’s storms with courage and grace, refusing to succumb to despair. They found ways to navigate their grief and struggles, drawing strength from their communities and their beliefs. Their ability to endure and overcome is a powerful reminder that we, too, can rise above our difficulties. But, please make no mistake, they were not always happy, they had lives just like ours.

In many cultures, honoring the ancestors is not just a quaint tradition but a vital part of daily life. It is a way of acknowledging the sacrifices and achievements of those who came before us, recognizing that their experiences and wisdom continue to shape our lives. By connecting with our ancestral roots, we gain a deeper understanding of who we are and where we come from. Consider that many people are very interested in the genealogy websites that track your roots. What can we find out about those investigations?

I wanted to see where I came from so my brother and I with our families traveled to the upper peninsula of Michigan to a little mining town called Copper Harbor. We found graves from when the area was first settled after the copper ore was found. We stopped to see the frame homes that the boards which made up the outside skin of the home. It seemed to lack the ability to form a seal to keep the frigid wind out. With no insulation, and a small potbellied stove to warm that 3 room home. Snow from lake effect sometimes was 345 inches a year. We then went down into the mines where the copper was pulled out of the earth with little more than hand tools in the beginning. I had no idea of those roots of my heritage; I was stunned into silence. The air closed around me as I thought thinking, feeling, grateful for the heritage that was my past. I knew that those miners, and the women who supported them were all stronger than I ever understood and that strength was in my blood, yes, in my blood and I know now, without a doubt that I have the strength to live my life on my terms. Thank you, Ancestors!

The stories of our ancestors are woven into the fabric of our identities. They are the foundation upon which we build our lives, providing us with a sense of belonging and continuity. When we take the time to learn about their lives, we discover the values and lessons that have been passed down through generations. These stories offer us guidance and inspiration, helping us to navigate our own paths with confidence and purpose.

With this knowledge I am proud to talk about where I came from and what it means to be a Vaive.

In today’s fast-paced world, it can be challenging to find the time to reflect on our heritage. However, doing so can be incredibly rewarding. By exploring our family histories, we can uncover the rich tapestry of experiences that have shaped our families and communities. We can learn about the triumphs and trials of our ancestors, gaining insight into the resilience and strength that have been passed down to us.

One way to connect with our ancestors is through storytelling. Sharing stories about our family’s past can be a powerful way to keep their memories alive and to pass on their wisdom to future generations. These stories can be shared around the dinner table, at family gatherings, or through written accounts that can be preserved for posterity. By keeping these stories alive, we ensure that the legacy of our ancestors continues to inspire and guide us.

Did you know that most things we read from long ago were first passed along to each generation as a story told, most often around tables while eating? That narrative is the most engaging way to share information.

Another way to honor our ancestors is by participating in cultural traditions and rituals. Many cultures have specific practices that are designed to honor and remember those who have passed on. These rituals can provide a sense of connection and continuity, linking us to our past and reminding us of the enduring strength of our heritage. Whether it’s lighting a candle in memory of a loved one, participating in a traditional ceremony, or simply taking a moment to reflect on the lives of those who came before us, these practices can be a meaningful way to honor our ancestors.

In addition to personal reflection and storytelling, we can also draw inspiration from the broader historical context in which our ancestors lived. By studying history, we can gain a deeper understanding of the challenges and triumphs that shaped their lives. This knowledge can provide us with valuable insights into the resilience and determination that enabled them to overcome adversity. It can also help us to appreciate the progress that has been made over time and to recognize the ongoing struggles that we must continue to address.

As we reflect on the legacy of our ancestors, it’s important to remember that their strength and resilience are not just relics of the past. They are qualities that we can cultivate in our own lives. By embracing the lessons of our ancestors, we can find the courage and determination to face our own challenges with grace and resolve. We can draw on their wisdom to navigate the complexities of modern life, finding hope and inspiration in their enduring spirit.

Like my brother and I going up to Copper Harbor we found that our ancestors are a living source of strength and wisdom that can guide us through the challenges of today. By honoring their legacy, we were able to see a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. We can draw inspiration from their resilience and determination, finding the courage to face our own struggles with hope and faith. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, let us remember the enduring spirit of our ancestors and the lessons they have to offer. Together, we can carry their legacy forward, finding strength in their timeless wisdom.

Nonviolence, a transformative process

I was contemplating the craziness of one of my business partner’s metaphor about the United States not engaging in a nationwide football game with winners and losers, alongside the profound call for a culture of nonviolence, and that are we are invited to reflect on the true essence of competition and collaboration in our society. This metaphor of the “football” game suggests that our life’s, much like a game, is often perceived in terms of winning and losing. However, when we work to shift our perspective towards a culture of nonviolence, we begin to see that true success is not measured by the defeat of others, but by the collective flourishing of all. Hard to understand that statement isn’t it?

In a world where the stakes are high—where violence, environmental degradation, and societal dishevel threaten our very existence—the call to nonviolence becomes a beacon of hope and a true guide for action. It challenges us to redefine what it means to “win.” Winning, in this context, is not about domination or conquest, but about achieving harmony and balance within ourselves, our communities, and our planet.

The teachings of nonviolence, as exemplified by figures like Jesus and Mahatma Gandhi and echoed in the wisdom of many spiritual traditions, urge us to transcend this zero-sum mentality we are stuck in. They invite us to embrace a paradigm where success is shared, where the well-being of one is automatically linked to the well-being of all. This shift requires us to engage in practices that heal rather than harm, to foster relationships built on mutual respect and understanding, and to be stewards our environment with the care and reverence and reverence it deserves.

Can we commit to this path, where we begin to dismantle the structures of violence and competition that have long governed our interactions. We can cultivate a world where peace is not merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice, equity, and compassion. In this reimagined world I am thinking about, the true victory lies in our ability to coexist peacefully, to nurture the earth and each other, and to create a lasting legacy of love and sustainability for future generations. And they are going to need it folks.

This journey I am talking about towards a culture of nonviolence is not just a moral imperative; it is a transformative process that redefines the very essence of what it means to win. It is an invitation to participate in the grand tapestry of life, where every thread contributes to the beauty and resilience of the whole. Through this lens, we can see that the ultimate triumph is not in outpacing others, but in walking together towards a shared vision of peace and prosperity. And this I will promise you, if you start down this path even a little bit it will change everything, ever thing!