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The story of Jenny

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In the heart of a small community nestled between two major highways, there lived a people group bound by a rich tapestry of traditions. These traditions, passed down through generations, were the lifeblood of the community, shaping its identity and guiding its people. Among these people there lived a young woman named Jenny, whose journey too understanding and transformation of her inherited traditions would become a beacon of hope and change.

Jenny grew up listening to her grandmother’s stories, tales woven with the threads of history, culture, and wisdom. Her grandmother, Amma, was the community’s unofficial historian, a keeper of the past who believed deeply in the power of tradition. “Traditions are our treasures,” Amma would say, her eyes twinkling with the light of countless memories. “They carry the wisdom of our ancestors and the values that define us.”

As a child, Jenny embraced these traditions with the innocence and enthusiasm of youth. She participated in the annual community festival, danced in the city street celebrations, and learned the songs that echoed the struggles of her community. These activities were more than just fun; they were a way of life, a connection to something greater than herself.

However, as Jenny grew older, which often happens, she began to see the world through a different lens. She noticed the subtle ways in which some traditions, once life-giving, had become burdensome. The rigid roles assigned to women as an example, the exclusion of certain community members, and the resistance to change were aspects that troubled her. Jenny soon found herself at a crossroads, questioning the very fabric of the way she was raised and what it meant.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Jenny sat with Amma on the porch of their modest home. The air was filled with the scent of the flowers at the edge of the porch, and the distant sound of traffic signaling  the end of another long day. Jenny turned to her grandmother, her voice tinged with uncertainty thinking about the question she had on her mind.

“Amma, do you ever wonder if our traditions need to change?” she asked, her eyes searching for understanding and even meaning.

Amma paused, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “Change is a part of life, my dear,” she replied softly. “Even the strongest trees must bend with the wind. But change must come with wisdom and love, not with anger or haste.”

Jenny pondered her grandmother’s words, realizing that the path to change was not one of rebellion, but of thoughtful transformation. She understood that traditions, like the very community itself, were living entities, capable of growth and adaptation. The challenge lay in discerning which aspects to preserve and which to evolve.

This time of introspection cause a fire to start in her that wanted  to make a difference, so Jenny started on a journey of exploration and dialogue. She began by engaging with the elders of the community, listening to their stories and perspectives. She sought to understand the roots of each tradition, the values they embodied, and the reasons they had endured. Through these conversations, Jenny discovered that many people in the community shared her concerns but feared the loss of identity that change might bring.

To start these discussions, Jenny had to learn and then employ several tools that would help her navigate the complexities of tradition and change. One of the most effective tools was the “circle of dialogue“. She organized gatherings where community members could sit in a circle, fostering an atmosphere of equality and openness. In this setting, everyone had the opportunity to speak and be heard, creating a safe space for sharing thoughts and feelings.

Another tool Jenny found invaluable was the “storytelling method“. By inviting villagers to share their personal experiences related to traditions, she helped them connect emotionally to the issues at hand. This method not only illuminated the diverse perspectives within the community but also highlighted the common threads that bound them together. Through storytelling, Asha encouraged empathy and understanding, allowing members to see the impact of traditions on one another’s lives.

With patience and empathy, Jenny initiated community gatherings where members could openly discuss their hopes and fears. She encouraged a spirit of collaboration, inviting everyone to contribute their ideas for a more inclusive and harmonious future. Slowly, the community began to embrace the notion that traditions could evolve without losing their essence.

One of the first changes Jenny proposed was the inclusion of women in the community council, a role traditionally reserved for men. She argued that the wisdom and perspectives of women were invaluable assets that could enrich the community’s decision-making process. To support this initiative, Jenny organized “workshops” that focused on leadership skills and conflict resolution, empowering women to step into these roles with confidence. After much deliberation, the council agreed to a trial period, and the results were transformative. The inclusion of women brought fresh ideas and a renewed sense of unity, proving that change could indeed be life-giving.

Encouraged by this success, Jenny continued to advocate for other changes, such as the celebration of diversity within the community and the incorporation of sustainable practices in building small cottage businesses. She introduced the concept of the “community center”, where members could come together to grow their businesses while sharing knowledge about sustainable practices. This initiative not only fostered collaboration but also reinforced the idea that traditions could adapt to meet contemporary challenges.

Each step was met with big challenges, but Jenny’s unwavering commitment to non-violence and dialogue paved the way for progress. She understood that resistance to change often stemmed from fear, and she approached each conversation with compassion, seeking to address concerns rather than dismiss them.

As the years passed, the community blossomed into a vibrant oasis where tradition and innovation coexisted harmoniously. The annual community festival, once a symbol of division, became a celebration of unity, with members of all backgrounds coming together to share in the bounty of the hard work they had done.

Jenny’s journey was not without its struggles, but her dedication to non-violence and her belief in the power of dialogue had transformed her community. She had shown that traditions, like the people who uphold them, are capable of growth and change. Through her efforts, Jenny had not only honored the past but had also paved the way for a brighter, more inclusive future.

In the twilight of her life, Jenny sat on the same porch where she had once questioned her grandmother. The community, now a testament to the enduring power of love and understanding, thrived around her. As the sun set on another day, Jenny knew that the journey of tradition was never truly complete. It was a living, breathing entity, forever evolving, forever growing, and forever guided by the gentle hand of non-violence.

As she reflected on her personal journey, Jenny realized that the tools she had employed—dialogue circles, storytelling, workshops, and community initiatives—were not just methods for change; they were expressions of love and respect for her heritage. They allowed her to honor the past while embracing the future, ensuring that the treasures of tradition would continue to shine brightly for generations to come. In this way, Jenny had become a guardian of her culture, a bridge between the old and the new, and a testament to the power of non-violence in the face of change.

This post is not about being woke……

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A journey through our Bias,

In this world that is becoming increasingly interconnected, the importance of diversity for learning, acceptance and finding a way to include cannot be overstated. Yet, despite our differences, we often find ourselves struggling to understand each another. This is where emotional intelligence and tools like the Enneagram can play a transformative role. By exploring the intersections of these concepts, we can enhance our appreciation for diverse perspectives and promote environments that include rather then divide. 

Let’s take a short  journey through a few stories that challenge biases, build cultural competence, and encourage reflection on our own assumptions. Together, we will discover how understanding different Enneagram types can help us foster peaceful communities rooted in inclusivity.

There is power in Emotional intelligence (EI) and its ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also being aware of the emotions of others. It is a crucial skill in navigating the complexities of human interactions, especially in diverse settings. 

Consider the story of Maya, a team leader in a multinational company, who I have worked with. Maya was known for her exceptional emotional intelligence. One day, during a team meeting, she noticed that her colleague, Ahmed, seemed unusually quiet. Instead of pushing forward with the agenda, Maya paused and asked Ahmed how he was feeling. (This is one of the most powerful things you can do with another person, as we DO NOT know what is going on inside of someone else)

“Honestly, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed,” he admitted. “I’m the only one from my background in this meeting, and I sometimes feel like my voice doesn’t matter.”

Maya’s empathetic response opened the door for a deeper conversation about the challenges of being a minority in a predominantly different culture. By acknowledging Ahmed’s feelings, she not only validated his experience but also created a safe space for him to express himself. This moment of emotional intelligence fostered a sense of belonging and encouraged Ahmed to share his unique perspectives, enriching the whole team’s discussions. Another side benefit is that understanding another’s culture/life is a way to expand your own journey in ways that may surprise you. Lynette and I have traveled all over the world for work and although exhausting at times, changed our entire outlook on living life together with others and not living in a bubble.

Understanding the Enneagram  is a powerful tool for working with other personality types and the motivations behind our behaviors. It consists of nine distinct types, each with its own strengths, weaknesses, and ways of perceiving the world. By understanding these types, we can gain insights into how different individuals approach challenges, communicate, and relate to others.

By looking at the Enneagram through the lens of another story we can see how this works—this time featuring Sarah, a passionate advocate for diversity and inclusion. Sarah is a Type 2, known as the Giver. She thrives on supporting others and creating harmonious relationships. However, her desire to help can sometimes lead her to overlook her own needs.

During a workshop on diversity, Sarah met James, a Type 5, known as the Observer. James is analytical and values knowledge above all else. While Sarah was eager to engage in discussions about emotional experiences, James preferred to observe and analyze from a distance. Initially, Sarah felt frustrated by James’s quiet demeanor, interpreting it as disinterest.

However, as the workshop progressed, Sarah learned about the Enneagram and realized that James’s approach was simply different from her own. Instead of pushing him to participate, she began to appreciate his thoughtful insights when he did choose to speak. This understanding transformed their dynamic, allowing Sarah to embrace the diversity of thought that James brought to the table. And while Sarah admitted that allowing her normal thoughts to be more accepting was not easy the rewards were worth it.

Challenging biases through interactive stories can foster inclusivity, as we confront our biases and assumptions. Interactive storytelling can be a powerful tool for this purpose. Go with me as we imagine a scenario where you are part of a community meeting discussing a new initiative aimed at improving local resources. I have taken this scenario from the a mixture of countless board meetings I have been part of.

As the meeting unfolds, you notice a newcomer, Priya, who has just moved to the area. She shares her perspective on the initiative, drawing from her experiences in a different country. However, instead of listening, you find yourself dismissing her ideas, thinking, “What does she know about our community?”

Now, pause for a moment. What if you were to step into Priya’s shoes? Imagine the courage it took for her to speak up in a room full of unfamiliar faces. By reflecting on her experiences, you might begin to see the value in her insights. This exercise challenges your biases and encourages you to embrace diverse perspectives.

Building cultural competence is the ability to understand, communicate with, and effectively interact with people across cultures. It requires an ongoing commitment to learning and growth. 

I watched Maya, who decided to implement a cultural competence training program in her organization. She invited employees to share their stories and experiences related to diversity. One day, a quiet employee named Luis, a Type 9 known as the Mediator, shared his journey of growing up in a bilingual household. 

“I often felt caught between two cultures,” Luis explained. “I wanted to fit in with my peers, but I also cherished my heritage. It was a constant balancing act.”

Maya listened intently, recognizing the importance of Luis’s story. She encouraged others to share their experiences, creating a rich tapestry of narratives that highlighted the beauty of diversity. This initiative not only built cultural competence but also fostered a sense of community and belonging among employees.

**Reflecting on Our Own Biases**

Reflecting on our own biases as we navigate the complexities of diversity and inclusion, it’s essential to look at our own biases and assumptions. Consider the following questions:

1. What assumptions do I hold about individuals from different backgrounds?

2. How can I challenge these assumptions and open myself to new perspectives?

3. In what ways can I use my emotional intelligence to create a more inclusive environment?

By engaging in this self-reflection, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that prevent us from fully embracing diversity. 

**The Importance of Inclusivity in Fostering Peaceful Communities**

Ultimately, the importance of inclusivity in fostering peaceful communities is not just about creating a diverse environment; it’s about building those peaceful communities. When individuals feel valued and heard, they are more likely to contribute positively to their surroundings. 

Let’s back in with Sarah and James. After their initial misunderstandings, they began collaborating on a project that combined Sarah’s passion for community engagement with James’s analytical skills. Together, they developed a program that addressed the needs of underrepresented groups in their community. 

Their partnership not only strengthened their relationship but also created a ripple effect of inclusivity. Others in their organization began to recognize the value of diverse perspectives, leading to a more harmonious and productive workplace.

As we navigate the complexities of diversity and inclusion, let us remember the power of emotional intelligence and the Enneagram in fostering understanding and appreciation for one another. By embracing our differences and challenging our biases, we can create inclusive environments that promote peaceful communities.

Through these stories of empathy, reflection, and growth, we can inspire one another to become advocates for diversity and inclusion. Together, let’s embark on this journey, recognizing that our unique perspectives are what make our communities vibrant and resilient. 

In the end, it is our collective commitment to understanding and embracing diversity that will pave the way for a more peaceful and inclusive world. I also want to make sure that you understand the words “diversity” and “inclusion” are not dirty words. When we throw around words and they become commonplace we tend to look at them differently they were intended. Check out what the Pew Research Center says about people coming to our country since 1850. You might be surprised to find out they are your ancestors.

A way to non-violence

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Connecting Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram: What would happen if we had a discussion on how emotional intelligence and the Enneagram complement each other in promoting non-violence. Could we highlight the ways in which understanding one’s Enneagram type can enhance self-awareness and empathy, both of which are crucial components of emotional intelligence? This is a  case study and real-life examples to illustrate how these tools can be applied to resolve conflicts, improve communication, and foster harmonious relationships. We encourage participants to consider how their Enneagram insights can inform their emotional responses and interactions with others, reinforcing the connection between self-understanding and non-violent behavior.

This is case study using the Delent Group and that they did to help all of the companies stakeholders understand how to combat violence

Case Study: The Delent (name changed to protect the  company identity) groups journey to integrating the Enneagram and Emotional Intelligence to Support Non-Violence

The background

In a diverse urban community facing challenges related to violence and social unrest, a local non-profit organization sought innovative approaches to foster peace and understanding among its residents. The organization decided to implement a program that combined the Enneagram personality system with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) training to address the root causes of conflict and promote non-violence.

Their Objective

The primary objective was to help all stakeholders understand their own and others’ emotional responses and behaviors, thereby reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By integrating the Enneagram with EQ, the program was aimed at tools to enhance self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication among the community members.

The Implementation

1. Workshops and Training Sessions: The program began with a series of workshops introducing participants to the Enneagram’s nine personality types. Each participant identified their Enneagram type, gaining insights into their core motivations, fears, and desires.

2. Emotional Intelligence Development: At the same time, participants engaged in EQ training, focusing on self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. This training helped individuals recognize and manage their emotions and understand the emotional dynamics of others.

3.We had integration sessions: Special sessions were held to integrate the Enneagram insights with EQ skills. Participants learned how their Enneagram type influenced their emotional responses and how to apply EQ strategies to manage these responses constructively.

4. We then did conflict resolution exercises: Role-playing and group exercises were conducted to practice non-violent communication and conflict resolution. Participants used their understanding of the Enneagram and EQ to navigate and resolve simulated conflicts. This process had up and down success until the process became embedded in the company.

Promising Outcomes

Increased Self-Awareness: Participants reported a deeper understanding of their emotional triggers and behavioral patterns. For example, a participant identified as an Enneagram Type 8 (The Protector) learned to recognize their tendency towards confrontation and applied EQ techniques to pause and choose more constructive responses. It took practice to get to a place of automatic response.

Enhanced Empathy and Understanding: By understanding the Enneagram types of others, participants developed greater empathy and appreciation for different perspectives. This understanding helped to reduce prejudices and fostered a more inclusive community environment.

Improved Communication: The integration of EQ skills with Enneagram insights led to more effective communication. Participants were better equipped to express their needs and listen to others, reducing misunderstandings and fostering collaboration.

Reduction in Conflicts: Over six months, the community reported a noticeable decrease in conflicts and violent incidents. Participants attributed this change to their improved ability to manage emotions and engage in non-violent communication.

The Conclusion

The case study demonstrates that integrating the Enneagram with Emotional Intelligence can be a powerful approach to supporting non-violence. By enhancing self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills, individuals are better equipped to understand and manage their emotions and interactions, leading to a more peaceful and harmonious community. This approach can serve as a model for other communities seeking to address violence and promote social cohesion. And while this approach is not new in anyway maintaining this direction takes effort and a desire to live in a more agreeable way.