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Richard Rohr’s, Order, Disorder and then Reorder

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The beautiful sun-drenched landscapes of New Mexico provided a fitting backdrop for the Richard Rohr Conference, a gathering that promised not just intellectual engagement but a journey into the depths of the human/spirit connection. As all of us settled into our seats, the air was buzzing with anticipation, a collective curiosity about the transformative insights that Father Richard Rohr and the rest of the faculty would share. Their teachings, deeply rooted in spirituality and personal growth, have long been a beacon for those seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them using what God has in store.

At the heart of the conference was a profound exploration of the spiritual journey through the stages of Order, Disorder, and Reorder. I frankly did not know that I have been going through this on a regular basis and Father Richard, with his characteristic warmth and wisdom, guided us/me through these stages, each representing a pivotal phase in our spiritual evolution. Then the faculty took it much deeper with revisioning our spiritual walk and what Christianity could mean. I have been on this journey a long time and those that know Lynette and I know that we continue to learn. It is not just a hobby but a passion to understand and then to use that information to help where we are called to help. Let’s start with Order.

The journey always begins with Order, a stage where we feel enveloped in a sense of innocence and safety. It’s a time when everything seems right with the world, this can happen at different times in our life, and we are cradled in the comforting arms of certainty. This “first naiveté” is a beautiful phase, where the world appears as a harmonious tapestry, and we are blissfully unaware of the complexities that lie beneath the surface. It’s a stage that not everyone experiences, but for those who do, it is a time of peace and simplicity. In this phase, our beliefs and values are often inherited from our families and communities, providing a framework that helps us make sense of the world. We find solace in the familiar routines and traditions that shape our daily lives. May I also say that those that have not experienced this phase are looking for it and what it means.

However, life, in its unpredictable nature, often propels us into the next stage: Disorder. I have lived a good deal of my life in this stage and those of you that have also lived here know exactly what I mean. This is where the real challenge begins. As Father Richard eloquently described, Disorder is the sacred, open space where we are led out of our comfort zones. It feels like suffering because it requires us to let go of the familiar, to release our grip on the structures and beliefs that once provided us with stability. In this stage, part of us must die if we are ever to grow larger. It’s a painful yet necessary process, akin to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. The cocoon of Order must be shed for the wings of Reorder to emerge. This stage may even be called a rebirth.

Disorder can manifest in various forms—personal crises, loss, or profound disillusionment, even maybe our spiritual community. It is during these times that we are forced to confront the limitations of our previous understanding. The certainty that once anchored us begins to crumble, leaving us adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Yet, it is in this very uncertainty, this liminal space, (you need to click on the link for liminal space and not miss the meaning) that the seeds of transformation are sown. As we grapple with the chaos, we begin to question, to seek, and to explore new perspectives. This stage, though tumultuous, is a crucible for growth, urging us to expand our horizons and embrace the unknown.

As we navigate through the tumultuous waters of Disorder, we hopefully and eventually find ourselves at the threshold ofReorder. This stage is a revelation, a homecoming to our true selves. Here, we discover an inner authority, personal agency, a profound knowing that transcends logic and common sense. It’s a realization that everything is okay because God is present in every moment, no matter what happens. In Reorder, nothing needs to be excluded. We learn to live and work with all of it because, as Father Richard beautifully articulated, God can. For some unbelievable reason, everything belongs.

Reorder is not about returning to the simplicity of Order but about integrating the lessons learned during Disorder. It is a synthesis of the old and the new, a harmonious blend of past experiences and newfound wisdom. In this stage, we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. We come to appreciate the interconnectedness of all things and recognize that every experience, whether joyful or painful, contributes to our growth. This stage invites us to live with authenticity and compassion, embracing the full spectrum of human experience. Can you think of a time that you have seen this happening in your own life?

This concept of “everything belongs” is both radical and liberating. It challenges us to embrace the entirety of our experiences, the joys and the sorrows, the successes and the failures. In doing so, we come to understand that every moment, every encounter, is imbued with divine significance. It’s a perspective that invites us to see the world through a lens of compassion, acceptance and love, to recognize the interconnectedness of all things. In future blogs I will be talking about duality and non-duality and that it means to us.

This amazing conference was more than just a series of lectures; it was an invitation to embark on a transformative journey. We all left with a renewed sense of purpose, inspired to embrace the stages of Order, Disorder, and Reorder and then “revision what could be” in a divine sense, with-in their own lives. Father Richard’s teachings and those of the faculty, resonated deeply, offering a roadmap for navigating the complexities of being human with grace and resilience and faith.

As the conference ended, the sun was coming to a position right above us shining a bright light the New Mexico landscape and our spirits. It was a fitting day filled with profound insights and spiritual awakening. The journey through Order, Disorder, and Reorder towards revisioning is not a linear path but a cyclical one, a continuous dance of growth and transformation. And as we left the conference, we carried with us the wisdom that everything belongs, a truth that will guide us on our journey long after the echoes of Father Richard’s and the faculty’s words have faded.

In reflecting on the conference, it becomes clear that these stages are not merely abstract concepts but lived experiences that shape our lives. They remind us of that growth often requires us to step into the unknown, to embrace the discomfort of change, and to trust in the unfolding of our journey. As we move through these stages, we are called to cultivate a spirit of openness and curiosity, to remain receptive to the lessons that each stage has to offer.

The teachings of the wisdom teachers, serve as a guiding light, illuminating the path toward a more integrated and authentic existence. They encourage us to embrace the paradoxes of life, to find beauty during chaos, and to trust in the divine presence that permeates every aspect of our being. In doing so, we come to realize that the journey itself is the destination, and that every step, no matter how challenging, is an integral part of our spiritual evolution.

In closing this blog for today, may we carry with us the wisdom of Order, Disorder, and Reorder, allowing it to inform and inspire our lives. May we find the courage to embrace the unknown, the resilience to navigate the challenges, and the grace to accept that everything belongs. In this way, we honor the teachings of all the wisdom teachers that have come before, while embarking on a path of transformation and renewal, guided by the light of love and wisdom.

“Embracing Perspectives: Insights from Richard Rohr’s Conference”

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Lynette and I attended the Richard Rohr conference in NM and had some wonderful insights which I will be sharing over the next few weeks. Yes, Richard Rohr is deeply spiritual, presenting ideas in a way that resonates with many people. You don’t have to agree with someone to hear their wisdom.

Feeling like we live in a world that often feels divided, the ability to see things from another person’s perspective is a powerful tool. Some of the things I learned in the last week will follow in this post. It allows us to navigate our relationships with compassion and empathy, giving us understanding and connection rather than possible conflict. What would happen if we explored the importance of embracing different viewpoints, the benefits of not feeling the need to defend our own positions, and how this practice can lead to a more harmonious existence.

Understanding perspective at its core is seeing that perspective is the lens through which we view the world. Our world view, I learned about my world view from Cindy Wigglesworth, one of my greatest mentors, is shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and emotions. Each person’s perspective is unique, influenced by their upbringing, culture, and personal experiences.When we take the time to understand someone else’s viewpoint, we open ourselves up to a richer, more nuanced understanding of the world, which is often not threatening.

Imagine a conversation where two people hold opposing views on a contentious issue. Not that we have a lot of those going on in today’s world that we live in. Instead of immediately jumping to defend their own stance, these two people choose to listen actively to one another. This simple act of listening can transform the dialogue. It allows for a deeper exploration of the reasons behind each perspective, fostering an environment of respect and understanding. I will not kid you, it is very hard work to “listen” to another, and some of us give up trying before they get to understanding because it is just too hard.

The Importance of compassion is the ability to recognize the suffering of others and take action to help alleviate that suffering. When we approach conversations with compassion, we create a safe space for others to express their thoughts and feelings. This is particularly important in discussions that may be emotionally charged or sensitive.Did you know that humans are wired to want to help? It’s true! When we suppress that instinct, it creates dissonance within us.

By practicing compassion, we can acknowledge the validity of another person’s feelings, even if we do not agree with their conclusions. For instance, as an example I have a family member that is upset about a political issue, instead of dismissing their concerns, I try to validate their feelings by saying, “I can see why this is important to you.”  or something like this. I love this family member and I want to go as far as I can in building trust and rapport without losing myself in the process.

The role of empathy takes compassion a step further. It involves not only understanding another person’s feelings but also sharing in their emotional experience. When we empathize with someone, we put ourselves in their shoes, allowing us to feel what they feel. This connection can be incredibly powerful, and again let me say that you do not have to OWN what they are feeling, just by letting it wash over you, you get a sense that the journey is mutual.

I have a scenario where a colleague was struggling with a heavy workload. Instead of simply offering advice or solutions, I was able to empathize by saying, “I remember feeling overwhelmed in a similar situation. It can be really tough.”This shared experience can help the other person feel less isolated in their struggles and more supported in finding solutions.”

We want to know that we are not ALONE on this journey. Let me stop here and ask this question, “Are there times when you feel alone and no-one hears you?”

When you do this work, you find out it was one of the most significant barriers to understanding others is our instinct to defend our own positions. When we feel attacked or challenged, our natural response is often to become defensive. This defensiveness can shut down communication and create a hostile environment.This defensiveness can make it more challenging to reach the understanding we initially sought.

Do you really want to fight with friends and family to make your point prevail and be the loudest in the room?

However, when we consciously choose to let go of the need to defend our own views, we create space for open dialogue. This does not mean we abandon our beliefs; rather, we acknowledge that our perspective is just one of many. By doing so, we can engage in conversations without the pressure of needing to “win” or prove ourselves right.

The freedom of non-ownership is one of the most powerful aspects of seeing things from another person’s perspective and is the freedom that comes with not having to own their position. When we engage with someone else’s viewpoint, we can appreciate it without feeling the need to adopt it as our own. This allows for a more fluid exchange of ideas, where we can explore different perspectives without the weight of ownership.

As an example, in a discussion I had about climate change, I encountered someone who had a radically different approach to environmental issues than mine. Instead of feeling compelled to defend my beliefs or adopt theirs, we were simply able to listen and learn from each other.. This openness can lead to a more enriching conversation, where both parties leave with new insights and a deeper understanding of the many complexities involved. To be fair, as a spiritual director for many years and MCC with the International Coaching Federation, I have had years of training on these concepts and again I will say, “it is not easy to really listen”.

Building bridges through dialogue is a great approach to having conversations with compassion and empathy, we can build bridges rather than walls. This approach is critically important in today’s polarized society, where differing opinions can lead to animosity and division.  We want to create a culture of dialogue rather than debate where the outcomes might not be what you expect, remember my post on what happened in Detroit? NO one expected the outcome that we ended up with.

Engaging in respectful conversations allows us to explore the nuances of complex issues. It encourages us to ask questions, seek clarification, and genuinely understand where the other person is coming from. This process not only enriches our own understanding but also helps to humanize the other person, reminding us that behind every opinion is a person with their own story. Here is the main point, When we OWN a conversation or viewpoint many times the other person is not a person to us.

These Practical Steps to Embrace Perspective-Taking ……..

1. Practice Active Listening: Focus on truly hearing what the other person is saying. Avoid interrupting or formulating your response while they speak. Instead, listen with the intent to understand.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the other person to share more about their perspective by asking questions that invite elaboration. For example, “What experiences have shaped your view on this issue?”

3. Reflect Back: After the other person has shared their thoughts, reflect back what you’ve heard. This shows that you are engaged and helps clarify any misunderstandings.This also helps to defuse any building anger.

4. Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize and validate the emotions behind the other person’s perspective. A simple acknowledgment can go a long way in fostering connection. And folks, it is ok to have emotions about subjects you care about, but understand those emotions goes a long way.

5. Be Open to Learning: Approach conversations with a mindset of curiosity. Be willing to learn from the other person’s experiences and insights, even if they challenge your own beliefs.

The ability to see things from another person’s perspective is a gift that can transform our interactions and relationships. By embracing compassion and empathy, we create a space for understanding and connection. Letting go of defensiveness and the need to own another person’s position allows for richer, more meaningful conversations.

In a world that feels so divided right now, the practice of perspective-taking can be a powerful antidote. It reminds us that we are all human, navigating our own journeys, and that understanding one another is the first step toward building a more compassionate and empathetic society. So, let us strive to listen, learn, and connect, one conversation at a time. At this point I would like to ask you to reflect on your own experiences with empathy and perspective-taking and if it make sense to post in comments to help others with their journey.