SEQ: Connect to Self, Others, and the World Deeply

Blending Emotional and Spiritual Intelligence: Adding connection to Yourself (awareness), Your Familiar others (belonging),, and the World (insight).

A story that shaped everything

My wife Lynette and I were at a conference in Italy for 6 Seconds when all our stuff was stolen while we stopped for lunch. We came back to the car, looked over the top of the car, and started laughing — not because nothing was lost, but because we chose meaning and connection over panic. The CEO of 6 Seconds noticed how we were handling it and suggested adding a spiritual layer to their emotional intelligence assessment, the powerhouse that had rocketed around the world into 185 countries. That seed became a one-page profile report and a 27-page development report that helps people understand how their connection in the world is working and thriving.

Spiritual Emotional intelligence (SEQ) blends thinking, feeling, and sensing clarity, emotional regulation, and a felt sense of connection and purpose. To apply this effectively, it helps to see connection at three domains: yourself, familiar others (friends/colleagues/community, family), and the world at large. Below I use the SEQ assessment — brief indicators, reflective prompts, and development actions — to help you integrate connection practically into each of the three domains.

How to use the SEQ assessment concept.

Think of this like a quick self-check: for each domain, rate yourself from 1–5 (1 = rarely / 5 = consistently). Then use the prompts and development actions to grow. The aim is not perfection but awareness and repeatable practices.

Domain 1 Awareness— Connection to Yourself (self-awareness): Quick self-check indicators:

• I know what grounds me and can return to it when I’m shaken.
• I treat myself with kinder language during setbacks.
• I can identify my core values and make small choices that align with them.

Reflective prompts:

• What makes me feel truly at home in my own skin?
• When I’m distressed, what internal voice dominates (critic, protector, supporter)?
• Which small gestures (breath, pause, note) make me feel anchored?

Development actions:

• Morning Awareness Check: 2 minutes — name one value you’ll live by today and one bodily cue to monitor (e.g., tight shoulders).
• Ritual for small setbacks: Ground (60s breathing) + Reconnect (ask: what does this reveal about what matters?).
• Narrative rewiring: Practice telling one short story each week that emphasizes resilience and connection to yourself.

Domain 2 Belonging — Connection to Familiar Others (friends, colleagues, local community and Family): Quick self-check indicators:

• I can express need and receive care within my family.
• We have shared rituals that create community.
• Conflicts are resolved in ways that preserve connection.
• I have a balanced network: people who support me emotionally, practically, and intellectually.
• I show up in community with consistent, small actions.
• I both give and receive in friendships.

Reflective prompts:

• Which friendships sustain my sense of purpose, and which drain it?
• Which family rituals help me feel rooted? Which are missing?
• When family tension arises, how quickly do I move to blame vs. curiosity?
• What roles do I habitually play (rescuer, fixer, avoider), and how do they affect connection?
• How regularly do I invest time in people closest to me?

Development actions:

• Family “Connection Minute”: weekly check-in where each person shares one moment, they felt connected and one need.
• Conflict pause: name emotion, ask one open question, reflect shared values before problem-solving.
• Create a family map of connection: list people, places, and shared practices that generate belonging; keep it visible.
• Map your Belonging Network: list 6–8 names across roles (mentor, peer, creative friend) and commit to one outreach/month per person you want to strengthen.
• Practice compassionate curiosity: in conversation, name your feeling, then ask “What mattered most to you there?”
• Micro-rituals of presence: three minutes of focused attention (no devices) when meeting a friend or colleague.

Domain 3 (Insight)— Connection to the World (Higher power, people all over the world, causes, and meaning). Quick self-check indicators:

• I feel part of something bigger than myself (nature, cause, tradition).
• I can find meaning in setbacks by connecting them to larger narratives.
• I contribute in ways that align with my values.

Reflective prompts:

• What larger stories (civic, spiritual, environmental) provide me with meaning?
• Where do I experience awe or transcendence? How often?
• What practical contribution can I make that affirms my connection to the world?
• In workplace interactions, when do I feel most seen and when do I feel invisible?

Development actions:

• Weekly Meaning Inventory: record three moments of connection to something larger (a natural scene, a piece of music, volunteering).
• Public acts of connecting: small consistent contributions (time, skills, donations) to a cause you care about.
• Embodied practice: regular time in nature or contemplative practice that cultivates a felt sense of connection.

Putting it together:

Try a simple SEQ-style one-page check Go here for PDF

Create your own one-page Connection Snapshot. Columns: Write each Domain | and your Current Rating (1–5) | One Strength | One Next Step. Complete it weekly for a month and watch patterns emerge. This mirrors SEQ assessments (short, actionable, feedback-driven) and invites SEQ reflection (meaning, role in the larger web).

Use this sample example of a one-page layout (use a notebook or digital note)

• Yourself — Rating: 3 — Strength: morning ritual — Next step: add a 60-second body scan.
• Familiar others — Rating: 2 — Strength: close colleague — Next step: reach out to two friends this month.
• World — Rating: 3 — Strength: monthly volunteering — Next step: schedule weekly nature walks.

Practical routines to anchor the work

• Daily micro-routine (5–10 minutes): Morning Connection Check + brief body scan. Midday pause: name feeling and three breaths. Evening: short meaning Inventory entry.
• Weekly routine (20–30 minutes): Update one-page Connection Snapshot, plan one relational outreach, and take a reflective walk.
• Monthly routine: Review progress across three domains, adjust network map, commit to one new public act of connection.

Why this matters Connection at multiple levels stabilizes you when life is unpredictable.

You can count on life being unpredictable.

In Italy, our laughter after theft came from inner connection (Awareness), our close relationship (Belonging), and a larger orientation to life’s story (Insight). Emotional intelligence gave us regulation; spiritual intelligence gave us purpose and perspective. Together, they help you respond with presence, resilience, and aligned connections.

Final invitation Try a one-week experiment: complete the quick self-check for the three domains on day one, use the micro-routines daily, and revisit your one-page snapshot at week’s end. Notice shifts in emotion, decisions, and relationships. SEQ is built in small, repeated acts: one breath, one question, one connection step at a time.

Go to www.spiritofe.com/blog for more posts.