Resources

Behavior change begins with something you can actually see about yourself. Start with the framework we work from, the instruments that make it concrete, or a book.

Spiritual Emotional Intelligence (SEQ)

SEQ is the frame underneath everything else on this page — emotional intelligence carried past self-management into meaning, belonging and conscience, which is usually what decides what a person does with the skill they have.

• Spiritual Intelligence — what SEQ is, and how it differs from EQ.
• The Three Intelligences You Already Carry — IQ, EQ and SEQ, and what each one is actually for.
• The Intelligence You Weren’t Taught — why SEQ needs a name of its own.
• SEQ: Connect to Self, Others, and the World Deeply
• Adding a New Dimension to Spiritual Direction Training — SEQ inside a spiritual direction training program.

Assessments

SEI — Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment. A validated measure of eight learnable competencies, delivered with a development report you keep. This is where most individual coaching engagements start.

SQ21 — Spiritual Intelligence Assessment. Twenty-one skills describing how you bring meaning, faith and conscience to bear on a decision. Useful when the question is about purpose rather than performance.

TVS — Team Vital Signs. A team-level read on trust, motivation, change and execution. Run at both ends of an engagement, it is what shows you whether anything actually moved.

Spirit of EQ is certified in the full Six Seconds assessment suite and in the SQ21. For the wider Vital Signs tools — LVS, OVS, Brain profiles and 360s — see Data Tools and Culture Climate Data above.

Downloads

One page each, free, and no sign-up. Reflection sheets open a question and leave you to sit with it. Worksheets walk you through a framework.

Reflection sheets

• The Shadow You Lead With — the strength that runs past the point where it was useful.
• The Voice You’ll Use on Everyone Else — what you say to yourself when you fail.
• I Didn’t Mean It That Way — intent, impact, and what actually repairs.
• What Silence Does That Words Cannot — two minutes, nothing added.
• What Is Actually Mine to Do? — a six-question end-of-day examen.
• Staying in the Boat — for a season that does not look hopeful yet.

Worksheets

• Mapping Your Circles of Disclosure — how much of yourself belongs in each ring.
• The Space Between Stimulus and Response — widening the half second before you speak.
• Know Yourself, Choose Yourself, Give Yourself — one intention, one practice, one week.
• Small Habits That Turn Self-Knowledge Into Practice — three check-ins and a trigger log.

Recommended Reading

Books we hand to people often enough that it is worth writing them down.

Emotional intelligence

• Emotional Intelligence — Daniel Goleman. The book that put the idea into general use.
• At the Heart of Leadership — Joshua Freedman. The Six Seconds model applied to leading people.
• Emotional Intelligence 2.0 — Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. The most practical of the lot if you want strategies you can try this week.
• Permission to Feel — Marc Brackett. Why naming an emotion accurately changes what happens next.
• Emotional Agility — Susan David. On holding feelings loosely enough to still choose.

Spiritual and contemplative

• Open Mind, Open Heart — Thomas Keating. The standard introduction to centering prayer.
• Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening — Cynthia Bourgeault. The practice with its theology attached.
• New Seeds of Contemplation — Thomas Merton. Still the one to read slowly.
• Into the Silent Land — Martin Laird. Short, and unusually honest about how hard silence is.
• Sacred Companions — David Benner. What spiritual direction actually is, for anyone considering it.

For those on a journey

• Let Your Life Speak — Parker Palmer. On vocation, and on the difference between a calling and a should.
• Falling Upward — Richard Rohr. For the stretch where what worked in the first half stops working.
• Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life — James Hollis. The Jungian read on the same territory.
• The Essential Enneagram — David Daniels and Virginia Price. The narrative tradition, and the best place to start.
• Inner Work — Robert A. Johnson. Dreams and active imagination, for people who want to do the work themselves.
• The Exquisite Risk — Mark Nepo. On staying open when closing would be easier.
• When the Heart Waits — Sue Monk Kidd. Waiting treated as work rather than delay.

And if you want to know what this work is like from the other side of the table, read what our clients say.

More from Spirit of EQ

• Books — books written by the Spirit of EQ team.
• SEQ Foundations — foundational essays on Spiritual Emotional Intelligence.