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The Uncomfortable Truth of Racism: A Reflection Inspired by Mary Elizabeth Moore

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The Uncomfortable Truth of Racism: A Reflection Inspired by Mary Elizabeth Moore

In a world that often feels divided, the stories we share can serve as bridges to understanding and healing. Today, I want to introduce you to a remarkable woman Lynette and I met at the Academy for Spiritual Formation in Nebraska: Mary Elizabeth Moore. A master educator, prolific writer, and speaker, Mary Elizabeths’s work in religious education, process theology, and practical theology is deeply rooted in a commitment to repair the world. To explore the full depth of her contributions, you can visit her [bio here](https://www.biola.edu/talbot/ce20/database/mary-elizabeth-moore).

The real reason for this blog, however, is to delve into a powerful poem that Mary Elizabeth wrote, titled “I Confess.” This poem is not just a reflection of her personal experiences; it is a mirror held up to society, challenging us to confront the uncomfortable truths about racism and privilege.

I Confess

Growing up with Mary shaped me

As a person far more sensitive

Then I would have otherwise been,

A child who could love and giggle,

And dash quietly to bed

When my parents came home early.

 

My world taught me

that Mary’s Blackness

was less than my whiteness

though I always knew

she was better than me.

 

The racist structures

We enacted were strengthened

By my family’s participation

I did not condemn

Those structures with anything more

Then a few probing questions

For a few minutes at a time,

Even as I prayed every night,

“God bless Mama and Daddy

And Mary and me.”

 

White supremacy

Shaped me in my very own home,

Yet I whole-heartedly loved Mary

And was powerfully shaped by her love

And by the deep Black culture

She taught me to value

As if it were my own.

 

My white-privilege perspectives

Emerged in the same childhood

That taught me to critique them,

 

slowly, oh so slowly

In my youth, but bursting

Ever more boldly as I grew

 

though I have not

And never will

Be free of its taint.

This poem resonates deeply with me, as it evokes memories of my own upbringing in Detroit, where I witnessed firsthand the destructive power of hate and judgment. The raw honesty in Mary Elizabeth’s words forces us to confront the uncomfortable realities of our pasts and the systems that have shaped our identities.

Mary Elizabeth’s poem encapsulates the struggle of recognizing privilege while grappling with the love and relationships that exist within a racially charged environment. It highlights the paradox of loving someone from a marginalized community while simultaneously benefiting from a system that devalues their existence. This duality is a painful truth that many of us must face.

As I reflect on my own experiences, I am reminded of the countless times I have seen the impact of racism on families, individuals, and communities. The scars left by systemic oppression run deep, and they are often invisible to those who do not experience them. Mary Elizabeth’s poem serves as a reminder that acknowledging our privilege is not enough; we must actively work to dismantle the structures that perpetuate inequality.

The Journey Toward Understanding

Mary Elizabeth’s  journey of self-awareness and growth is a testament to the power of reflection and education. It is a reminder that the path toward understanding is often slow and filled with discomfort. As she writes, “Slowly, oh so slowly / In my youth, but bursting / Ever more boldly as I grew.” This gradual awakening is something many of us can relate to, as we navigate our own journeys of understanding and kinship.

The discomfort that arises from confronting our biases and the reality of racism is a necessary part of this journey. It is through this discomfort that we can begin to challenge our preconceived notions and work toward a more equitable society. Mary Elizabeth’s poem encourages us to engage in difficult conversations, to ask probing questions, and to seek out the stories of those who have been marginalized.

As we reflect on the themes presented in Mary Elizabeth’s poem, we must ask ourselves: What will it take to look at one another without the taint of prejudice? How can we actively participate in the repair of our world? The answers to these questions lie in our willingness to listen, learn, and engage with the experiences of others.

We must commit to educating ourselves about the history and impact of racism, both in our communities and beyond. This includes amplifying the voices of those who have been silenced and advocating for policies that promote equity and justice. It requires us to confront our own biases and to hold ourselves accountable for our actions.

Mary Elizabeth Moore’s work and her poignant poem serve as a powerful reminder of the importance of empathy, understanding, and action. To explore more of her insights and contributions, consider reading her book, which you can find here..

So Much to Love, So Much to Lose Paperback – September 18, 2023 

by Mary Elizabeth Moore (Author)

If I were to conclude here, you might think that because Mary Elizabeth’s poem describes a meaningful relationship with a person of color that this is my focus for this blog, it is not!  But in a world that often feels divided, we have the power to bridge the gaps through understanding and compassion. Mary Elizabeth’s poem, “I Confess,” challenges us to confront our own biases and to recognize the impact of racism towards all people groups in our lives. It is a call to action, urging us to engage in the difficult work of dismantling systemic oppression and fostering a more inclusive society. And folks, you do not have to agree with other people groups to get along with them. Right?

Can we move forward, carrying the lessons from Mary Elizabeth’s experiences and the truths revealed in her poem inside of us? Because together, we can create a world where love and understanding triumph over hate and division. By committing to being agents of change, and working tirelessly to repair the wounds of our past and build a brighter future for all ……

we can began to heal.

Richard Rohr’s, Order, Disorder and then Reorder

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The beautiful sun-drenched landscapes of New Mexico provided a fitting backdrop for the Richard Rohr Conference, a gathering that promised not just intellectual engagement but a journey into the depths of the human/spirit connection. As all of us settled into our seats, the air was buzzing with anticipation, a collective curiosity about the transformative insights that Father Richard Rohr and the rest of the faculty would share. Their teachings, deeply rooted in spirituality and personal growth, have long been a beacon for those seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them using what God has in store.

At the heart of the conference was a profound exploration of the spiritual journey through the stages of Order, Disorder, and Reorder. I frankly did not know that I have been going through this on a regular basis and Father Richard, with his characteristic warmth and wisdom, guided us/me through these stages, each representing a pivotal phase in our spiritual evolution. Then the faculty took it much deeper with revisioning our spiritual walk and what Christianity could mean. I have been on this journey a long time and those that know Lynette and I know that we continue to learn. It is not just a hobby but a passion to understand and then to use that information to help where we are called to help. Let’s start with Order.

The journey always begins with Order, a stage where we feel enveloped in a sense of innocence and safety. It’s a time when everything seems right with the world, this can happen at different times in our life, and we are cradled in the comforting arms of certainty. This “first naiveté” is a beautiful phase, where the world appears as a harmonious tapestry, and we are blissfully unaware of the complexities that lie beneath the surface. It’s a stage that not everyone experiences, but for those who do, it is a time of peace and simplicity. In this phase, our beliefs and values are often inherited from our families and communities, providing a framework that helps us make sense of the world. We find solace in the familiar routines and traditions that shape our daily lives. May I also say that those that have not experienced this phase are looking for it and what it means.

However, life, in its unpredictable nature, often propels us into the next stage: Disorder. I have lived a good deal of my life in this stage and those of you that have also lived here know exactly what I mean. This is where the real challenge begins. As Father Richard eloquently described, Disorder is the sacred, open space where we are led out of our comfort zones. It feels like suffering because it requires us to let go of the familiar, to release our grip on the structures and beliefs that once provided us with stability. In this stage, part of us must die if we are ever to grow larger. It’s a painful yet necessary process, akin to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. The cocoon of Order must be shed for the wings of Reorder to emerge. This stage may even be called a rebirth.

Disorder can manifest in various forms—personal crises, loss, or profound disillusionment, even maybe our spiritual community. It is during these times that we are forced to confront the limitations of our previous understanding. The certainty that once anchored us begins to crumble, leaving us adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Yet, it is in this very uncertainty, this liminal space, (you need to click on the link for liminal space and not miss the meaning) that the seeds of transformation are sown. As we grapple with the chaos, we begin to question, to seek, and to explore new perspectives. This stage, though tumultuous, is a crucible for growth, urging us to expand our horizons and embrace the unknown.

As we navigate through the tumultuous waters of Disorder, we hopefully and eventually find ourselves at the threshold ofReorder. This stage is a revelation, a homecoming to our true selves. Here, we discover an inner authority, personal agency, a profound knowing that transcends logic and common sense. It’s a realization that everything is okay because God is present in every moment, no matter what happens. In Reorder, nothing needs to be excluded. We learn to live and work with all of it because, as Father Richard beautifully articulated, God can. For some unbelievable reason, everything belongs.

Reorder is not about returning to the simplicity of Order but about integrating the lessons learned during Disorder. It is a synthesis of the old and the new, a harmonious blend of past experiences and newfound wisdom. In this stage, we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. We come to appreciate the interconnectedness of all things and recognize that every experience, whether joyful or painful, contributes to our growth. This stage invites us to live with authenticity and compassion, embracing the full spectrum of human experience. Can you think of a time that you have seen this happening in your own life?

This concept of “everything belongs” is both radical and liberating. It challenges us to embrace the entirety of our experiences, the joys and the sorrows, the successes and the failures. In doing so, we come to understand that every moment, every encounter, is imbued with divine significance. It’s a perspective that invites us to see the world through a lens of compassion, acceptance and love, to recognize the interconnectedness of all things. In future blogs I will be talking about duality and non-duality and that it means to us.

This amazing conference was more than just a series of lectures; it was an invitation to embark on a transformative journey. We all left with a renewed sense of purpose, inspired to embrace the stages of Order, Disorder, and Reorder and then “revision what could be” in a divine sense, with-in their own lives. Father Richard’s teachings and those of the faculty, resonated deeply, offering a roadmap for navigating the complexities of being human with grace and resilience and faith.

As the conference ended, the sun was coming to a position right above us shining a bright light the New Mexico landscape and our spirits. It was a fitting day filled with profound insights and spiritual awakening. The journey through Order, Disorder, and Reorder towards revisioning is not a linear path but a cyclical one, a continuous dance of growth and transformation. And as we left the conference, we carried with us the wisdom that everything belongs, a truth that will guide us on our journey long after the echoes of Father Richard’s and the faculty’s words have faded.

In reflecting on the conference, it becomes clear that these stages are not merely abstract concepts but lived experiences that shape our lives. They remind us of that growth often requires us to step into the unknown, to embrace the discomfort of change, and to trust in the unfolding of our journey. As we move through these stages, we are called to cultivate a spirit of openness and curiosity, to remain receptive to the lessons that each stage has to offer.

The teachings of the wisdom teachers, serve as a guiding light, illuminating the path toward a more integrated and authentic existence. They encourage us to embrace the paradoxes of life, to find beauty during chaos, and to trust in the divine presence that permeates every aspect of our being. In doing so, we come to realize that the journey itself is the destination, and that every step, no matter how challenging, is an integral part of our spiritual evolution.

In closing this blog for today, may we carry with us the wisdom of Order, Disorder, and Reorder, allowing it to inform and inspire our lives. May we find the courage to embrace the unknown, the resilience to navigate the challenges, and the grace to accept that everything belongs. In this way, we honor the teachings of all the wisdom teachers that have come before, while embarking on a path of transformation and renewal, guided by the light of love and wisdom.

The story of Jenny

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In the heart of a small community nestled between two major highways, there lived a people group bound by a rich tapestry of traditions. These traditions, passed down through generations, were the lifeblood of the community, shaping its identity and guiding its people. Among these people there lived a young woman named Jenny, whose journey too understanding and transformation of her inherited traditions would become a beacon of hope and change.

Jenny grew up listening to her grandmother’s stories, tales woven with the threads of history, culture, and wisdom. Her grandmother, Amma, was the community’s unofficial historian, a keeper of the past who believed deeply in the power of tradition. “Traditions are our treasures,” Amma would say, her eyes twinkling with the light of countless memories. “They carry the wisdom of our ancestors and the values that define us.”

As a child, Jenny embraced these traditions with the innocence and enthusiasm of youth. She participated in the annual community festival, danced in the city street celebrations, and learned the songs that echoed the struggles of her community. These activities were more than just fun; they were a way of life, a connection to something greater than herself.

However, as Jenny grew older, which often happens, she began to see the world through a different lens. She noticed the subtle ways in which some traditions, once life-giving, had become burdensome. The rigid roles assigned to women as an example, the exclusion of certain community members, and the resistance to change were aspects that troubled her. Jenny soon found herself at a crossroads, questioning the very fabric of the way she was raised and what it meant.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Jenny sat with Amma on the porch of their modest home. The air was filled with the scent of the flowers at the edge of the porch, and the distant sound of traffic signaling  the end of another long day. Jenny turned to her grandmother, her voice tinged with uncertainty thinking about the question she had on her mind.

“Amma, do you ever wonder if our traditions need to change?” she asked, her eyes searching for understanding and even meaning.

Amma paused, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “Change is a part of life, my dear,” she replied softly. “Even the strongest trees must bend with the wind. But change must come with wisdom and love, not with anger or haste.”

Jenny pondered her grandmother’s words, realizing that the path to change was not one of rebellion, but of thoughtful transformation. She understood that traditions, like the very community itself, were living entities, capable of growth and adaptation. The challenge lay in discerning which aspects to preserve and which to evolve.

This time of introspection cause a fire to start in her that wanted  to make a difference, so Jenny started on a journey of exploration and dialogue. She began by engaging with the elders of the community, listening to their stories and perspectives. She sought to understand the roots of each tradition, the values they embodied, and the reasons they had endured. Through these conversations, Jenny discovered that many people in the community shared her concerns but feared the loss of identity that change might bring.

To start these discussions, Jenny had to learn and then employ several tools that would help her navigate the complexities of tradition and change. One of the most effective tools was the “circle of dialogue“. She organized gatherings where community members could sit in a circle, fostering an atmosphere of equality and openness. In this setting, everyone had the opportunity to speak and be heard, creating a safe space for sharing thoughts and feelings.

Another tool Jenny found invaluable was the “storytelling method“. By inviting villagers to share their personal experiences related to traditions, she helped them connect emotionally to the issues at hand. This method not only illuminated the diverse perspectives within the community but also highlighted the common threads that bound them together. Through storytelling, Asha encouraged empathy and understanding, allowing members to see the impact of traditions on one another’s lives.

With patience and empathy, Jenny initiated community gatherings where members could openly discuss their hopes and fears. She encouraged a spirit of collaboration, inviting everyone to contribute their ideas for a more inclusive and harmonious future. Slowly, the community began to embrace the notion that traditions could evolve without losing their essence.

One of the first changes Jenny proposed was the inclusion of women in the community council, a role traditionally reserved for men. She argued that the wisdom and perspectives of women were invaluable assets that could enrich the community’s decision-making process. To support this initiative, Jenny organized “workshops” that focused on leadership skills and conflict resolution, empowering women to step into these roles with confidence. After much deliberation, the council agreed to a trial period, and the results were transformative. The inclusion of women brought fresh ideas and a renewed sense of unity, proving that change could indeed be life-giving.

Encouraged by this success, Jenny continued to advocate for other changes, such as the celebration of diversity within the community and the incorporation of sustainable practices in building small cottage businesses. She introduced the concept of the “community center”, where members could come together to grow their businesses while sharing knowledge about sustainable practices. This initiative not only fostered collaboration but also reinforced the idea that traditions could adapt to meet contemporary challenges.

Each step was met with big challenges, but Jenny’s unwavering commitment to non-violence and dialogue paved the way for progress. She understood that resistance to change often stemmed from fear, and she approached each conversation with compassion, seeking to address concerns rather than dismiss them.

As the years passed, the community blossomed into a vibrant oasis where tradition and innovation coexisted harmoniously. The annual community festival, once a symbol of division, became a celebration of unity, with members of all backgrounds coming together to share in the bounty of the hard work they had done.

Jenny’s journey was not without its struggles, but her dedication to non-violence and her belief in the power of dialogue had transformed her community. She had shown that traditions, like the people who uphold them, are capable of growth and change. Through her efforts, Jenny had not only honored the past but had also paved the way for a brighter, more inclusive future.

In the twilight of her life, Jenny sat on the same porch where she had once questioned her grandmother. The community, now a testament to the enduring power of love and understanding, thrived around her. As the sun set on another day, Jenny knew that the journey of tradition was never truly complete. It was a living, breathing entity, forever evolving, forever growing, and forever guided by the gentle hand of non-violence.

As she reflected on her personal journey, Jenny realized that the tools she had employed—dialogue circles, storytelling, workshops, and community initiatives—were not just methods for change; they were expressions of love and respect for her heritage. They allowed her to honor the past while embracing the future, ensuring that the treasures of tradition would continue to shine brightly for generations to come. In this way, Jenny had become a guardian of her culture, a bridge between the old and the new, and a testament to the power of non-violence in the face of change.

A Few Stories….

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I wanted to share a few stories of self-discovery….

In this world we find ourselves that is bustling with activity and constant distractions, finding a moment of quiet reflection can be challenging at best. Yet, I find the journey toward self-awareness is a rewarding path that had lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others. Through the series of stories below, we can explore how these individuals have embarked on their journey, using tools like journaling, meditation, and the Enneagram to uncover their true selves.

The Journal of Emily: Unveiling Emotional Triggers

Emily always felt overwhelmed by her emotions, especially in stressful situations. She decided to start a journal, hoping to make sense of her feelings. One evening, she sat down with a cup of tea and began writing about her day. As she wrote, she noticed a pattern: her frustration often stemmed from feeling unappreciated at work.

Through her journaling, Emily discovered that her emotional triggers were linked to her need for validation. This realization was a turning point I her life. She began to explore ways to communicate her needs more effectively, both at work and in her personal life. Sharing her insights with a close friend, Emily found support and encouragement, which helped her grow more confident in expressing herself.

David’s Meditation Journey: Finding Peace Within ( I find Davids journey like my own)

David had always been skeptical about meditation. However, after hearing about its benefits, he decided to give it a try. He joined a guided meditation group, where he learned to focus on his breath and observe his thoughts without judgment.

During one session, David was guided through a body scan meditation. As he relaxed, he noticed tension in his shoulders and a knot in his stomach. The instructor encouraged him to breathe into these areas, releasing the tension with each exhale. As he did, David realized that his physical discomfort was linked to his anxiety about an upcoming presentation.

This insight was profound. By acknowledging his anxiety, David was able to address it directly, rather than letting it fester and grow. After the session, he shared his experience with the group, finding comfort in knowing that others faced similar challenges. Meditation became a regular practice for David, helping him navigate life’s stresses with greater ease.

Sarah’s Reflective Discussions: Building Connections

Sarah was part of a community group that met weekly for reflective discussions. Each session began with a simple question: “What did you learn about yourself this week?” At first, Sarah was hesitant to share, worried about being judged. But as she listened to others, she realized that everyone was on their own journey of self-discovery.

One week, Sarah shared a story about a disagreement with a friend. Through the discussion, she recognized that her reaction was rooted in a fear of abandonment. This insight allowed her to approach the situation with empathy, leading to a heartfelt conversation with her friend.

The group became a safe space for Sarah, where she could explore her emotions and learn from others. The support and understanding she found there helped her grow more confident in her relationships, both with herself and others.

Exploring the Enneagram: Tom’s Path to Understanding

Tom had always been curious about personality frameworks, so when he heard about the Enneagram, he was intrigued. He discovered that he was a Type 3, the Achiever, driven by success and validation. This revelation was both enlightening and challenging.

As Tom delved deeper into the Enneagram, he realized that his pursuit of success often overshadowed his true self. He began to question whether his achievements were aligned with his values or simply a means to gain approval. This introspection led Tom to make significant changes in his life, focusing on authenticity rather than external validation.

Tom shared his journey with his Enneagram study group, where others were exploring their own types. Through these discussions, Tom gained new perspectives and learned to appreciate the diversity of motivations and fears that drive human behavior. The Enneagram became a tool for personal growth, helping Tom build more authentic relationships.

When you start on the Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery you will be excited….

These stories can illustrate for you the transformative power of self-awareness. Whether through journaling, meditation, reflective discussions, or the Enneagram, each individual found a path to deeper understanding and personal growth. Their journeys remind us/me that self-awareness is not a destination but a continuous process of exploration and reflection. You WILL have ups and downs.

As you embark on your own journeys,  remember the importance of community and support. By sharing your insights and learning from one another, you can create a space of understanding and compassion, fostering personal growth and deeper connections with those around us. And together, we can navigate the complexities of this life with greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.