Embracing Our Present Human Situation: Lessons from Wendell Berry

/0 Comments/in /by

As I continue to write about the ideas I heard at the Richard Rohr Conference but on by the CAC, I continue to think and maybe even more about a world where the relentless march of progress often overshadows the quiet wisdom of simplicity, and in some of the words of Wendell Berry, one of my favorite authors, resonate with a profound urgency. Berry, a celebrated author, poet, and environmentalist, invites all of us to confront the reality of our existence with a refreshing perspective. He observes that “the glory of the human has become the desolation of the earth,” a stark reflection of how our achievements have come at a significant cost to the planet. As we stand at this crossroads, Berry challenges us to reconsider our relationship with the earth, urging us to foster a mutually enhancing connection that honors both humanity and nature.

There is a paradox of progress in a bustling city, filled with the sounds of honking cars, the glow of neon lights, and the constant hum of technology. It’s a place where convenience reigns supreme, yet beneath the surface lies a growing discontent. The relentless pursuit of progress has led to environmental degradation, loss of biodiversity, and a disconnection from the natural world. In our quest for advancement, we may have often overlooked the very foundation of our existence: the earth itself.

Berry’s assertion that “the desolation of the earth is becoming the desolation of the human” rings true in our modern lives. As we exploit the planet’s resources, we ultimately harm ourselves. The health of our planet is intricately linked to our own well-being. This interconnectedness calls for a profound shift in how we perceive our relationship with nature. Think about why we are starting to have outside church, wilderness camps for all ages, extreme sports that pit human with nature, etc.

A new judgment for human activities, Berry posits, is the primary judgment of all human activities that will be determined by the extent to which they foster a mutually enhancing human/earth relationship. This perspective challenges us to reconsider our values and priorities. Are our actions contributing to the health of the planet, or are they perpetuating its decline?  Good question right?

This call to action is not merely an environmental plea; it is a moral imperative. We must evaluate our choices through the lens of sustainability and reciprocity. By fostering a relationship with the earth that is nurturing rather than exploitative, we can create a future that honors both humanity and the natural world. And Berry also says that this regardless of where you stand on this issue, look around, he says.

To understand our peasant human situation at its core, is a reminder of our roots. It speaks to the idea that, despite our advancements, we are still fundamentally connected to the land and to each other. Berry’s philosophy emphasizes the importance of simplicity, sustainability, and community. In a society that often prioritizes individualism and consumerism, Berry’s insights encourage us to reflect on our values and the impact of our choices.

In his writings, Berry often advocates a call for a simpler way of life. He suggests that by stripping away the excess, we can find clarity and purpose. This simplicity is not about deprivation; rather, it is about recognizing what truly matters. In a world filled with distractions, simplifying our lives can lead to greater fulfillment.

Consider the clutter of modern life: the endless notifications on our phones, the pressure to keep up with trends, and the overwhelming choices at every turn. By embracing simplicity, we can create space for what truly nourishes our souls. Can I be honest here? It IS becoming over whelming to KEEP up with everything for me, is it for you?

These tips come right out of “Your money or your life”

Declutter Your Space:  Start by removing physical clutter from your home. A tidy environment can lead to a clearer mind. Donate items you no longer use, and create a space that reflects your values. You have all heard this before.

Limit Screen Time: Reduce the hours spent on devices. Instead, engage in activities that nourish your soul, such as reading, gardening, or spending time with loved ones. Set boundaries for technology use to reclaim your time and attention. This may be harder, but worth it.

Mindful Consumption: Be intentional about what you buy. Choose quality over quantity, and support local businesses that align with your values. This not only benefits your community but also fosters a sense of connection to the products you use.

Berry’s work often highlights the importance of our relationship with the natural world and reconnecting with nature. In an age of urbanization and digital distractions, it’s easy to forget our connection to the earth. However, nature has a way of grounding us and reminding us of our place in the larger ecosystem.

Imagine stepping outside into a sun-drenched garden, the scent of blooming flowers filling the air. The rustle of leaves in the breeze and the chirping of birds create a symphony of life that soothes the soul. This is the beauty of nature, and it is essential for our well-being.

Berry’s Ways to Reconnect with Nature:

Spend Time Outdoors: Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting in your backyard, make it a priority to spend time outside. Allow yourself to be present in the moment, soaking in the sights and sounds of the natural world.

Start a Garden: Gardening is a powerful way to connect with the earth. It teaches patience, responsibility, and the joy of nurturing life. Even a small herb garden on your windowsill can provide a sense of accomplishment and connection to nature.

Practice Mindfulness in Nature: When you’re outside, take a moment to truly observe your surroundings. Listen to the sounds, feel the textures, and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. Mindfulness can enhance your experience and deepen your appreciation for the environment.

Berry emphasizes the importance of community in his writings. In a world that often promotes isolation, fostering connections with others can provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging. 

Picture a neighborhood gathering, where laughter fills the air, and people come together to share stories, food, and experiences. This sense of community is vital for our well-being and can help us navigate the challenges of modern life.

Berry’s call to meet “all the reality we can bear” is a powerful reminder to confront the challenges of our time with courage and resilience. It encourages us to acknowledge the complexities of life while finding ways to navigate them with grace.

In a world filled with uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, by focusing on what we can control and taking small, meaningful steps, we can create a positive impact.

Start by practicing gratitude: Regularly reflect on the things you are grateful for. This practice can shift your perspective and help you focus on the positive aspects of life. Consider keeping a gratitude journal to document your reflections.

Limit negative news consumption: while it’s important to stay informed, excessive exposure to negative news can be overwhelming. Use your news sources yes and take breaks when needed. Balance is key to maintaining your mental well-being.

Engage in meaningful conversations: by discussing your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or family you reap clarity and support. It’s essential to share your burdens and seek advice when needed. Building a support network can help you navigate life’s challenges.

Wendell Berry’s writings serve as a beacon of hope and wisdom in a chaotic world. His ability to articulate the human experience in relation to nature and community inspires us to reflect on our own lives. By engaging with literature, we can gain new perspectives and insights that encourage us to live more intentionally.

Imagine curling up with a good book, I love doing this reading the pages filled with stories that challenge your thinking and inspire you to reflect on your values. Literature has the power to transport us, to teach us, and to connect us with the experiences of others.

Wendell Berry’s philosophy invites us to embrace our peasant human situation with open hearts and minds. By simplifying our lives, reconnecting with nature, building community, and facing reality with courage, we can navigate the complexities of modern existence.

Let us take inspiration from Berry’s words and strive to live more intentionally, ensuring that the desolation of the earth does not become the desolation of the human spirit. Together, we can cultivate a future that honors both our humanity and the natural world, creating a legacy of hope and resilience for generations to come. By embracing these principles, we not only enrich our own lives but also contribute to a more sustainable and harmonious world.

 

“Embracing Perspectives: Insights from Richard Rohr’s Conference”

/0 Comments/in , /by

Lynette and I attended the Richard Rohr conference in NM and had some wonderful insights which I will be sharing over the next few weeks. Yes, Richard Rohr is deeply spiritual, presenting ideas in a way that resonates with many people. You don’t have to agree with someone to hear their wisdom.

Feeling like we live in a world that often feels divided, the ability to see things from another person’s perspective is a powerful tool. Some of the things I learned in the last week will follow in this post. It allows us to navigate our relationships with compassion and empathy, giving us understanding and connection rather than possible conflict. What would happen if we explored the importance of embracing different viewpoints, the benefits of not feeling the need to defend our own positions, and how this practice can lead to a more harmonious existence.

Understanding perspective at its core is seeing that perspective is the lens through which we view the world. Our world view, I learned about my world view from Cindy Wigglesworth, one of my greatest mentors, is shaped by our experiences, beliefs, and emotions. Each person’s perspective is unique, influenced by their upbringing, culture, and personal experiences.When we take the time to understand someone else’s viewpoint, we open ourselves up to a richer, more nuanced understanding of the world, which is often not threatening.

Imagine a conversation where two people hold opposing views on a contentious issue. Not that we have a lot of those going on in today’s world that we live in. Instead of immediately jumping to defend their own stance, these two people choose to listen actively to one another. This simple act of listening can transform the dialogue. It allows for a deeper exploration of the reasons behind each perspective, fostering an environment of respect and understanding. I will not kid you, it is very hard work to “listen” to another, and some of us give up trying before they get to understanding because it is just too hard.

The Importance of compassion is the ability to recognize the suffering of others and take action to help alleviate that suffering. When we approach conversations with compassion, we create a safe space for others to express their thoughts and feelings. This is particularly important in discussions that may be emotionally charged or sensitive.Did you know that humans are wired to want to help? It’s true! When we suppress that instinct, it creates dissonance within us.

By practicing compassion, we can acknowledge the validity of another person’s feelings, even if we do not agree with their conclusions. For instance, as an example I have a family member that is upset about a political issue, instead of dismissing their concerns, I try to validate their feelings by saying, “I can see why this is important to you.”  or something like this. I love this family member and I want to go as far as I can in building trust and rapport without losing myself in the process.

The role of empathy takes compassion a step further. It involves not only understanding another person’s feelings but also sharing in their emotional experience. When we empathize with someone, we put ourselves in their shoes, allowing us to feel what they feel. This connection can be incredibly powerful, and again let me say that you do not have to OWN what they are feeling, just by letting it wash over you, you get a sense that the journey is mutual.

I have a scenario where a colleague was struggling with a heavy workload. Instead of simply offering advice or solutions, I was able to empathize by saying, “I remember feeling overwhelmed in a similar situation. It can be really tough.”This shared experience can help the other person feel less isolated in their struggles and more supported in finding solutions.”

We want to know that we are not ALONE on this journey. Let me stop here and ask this question, “Are there times when you feel alone and no-one hears you?”

When you do this work, you find out it was one of the most significant barriers to understanding others is our instinct to defend our own positions. When we feel attacked or challenged, our natural response is often to become defensive. This defensiveness can shut down communication and create a hostile environment.This defensiveness can make it more challenging to reach the understanding we initially sought.

Do you really want to fight with friends and family to make your point prevail and be the loudest in the room?

However, when we consciously choose to let go of the need to defend our own views, we create space for open dialogue. This does not mean we abandon our beliefs; rather, we acknowledge that our perspective is just one of many. By doing so, we can engage in conversations without the pressure of needing to “win” or prove ourselves right.

The freedom of non-ownership is one of the most powerful aspects of seeing things from another person’s perspective and is the freedom that comes with not having to own their position. When we engage with someone else’s viewpoint, we can appreciate it without feeling the need to adopt it as our own. This allows for a more fluid exchange of ideas, where we can explore different perspectives without the weight of ownership.

As an example, in a discussion I had about climate change, I encountered someone who had a radically different approach to environmental issues than mine. Instead of feeling compelled to defend my beliefs or adopt theirs, we were simply able to listen and learn from each other.. This openness can lead to a more enriching conversation, where both parties leave with new insights and a deeper understanding of the many complexities involved. To be fair, as a spiritual director for many years and MCC with the International Coaching Federation, I have had years of training on these concepts and again I will say, “it is not easy to really listen”.

Building bridges through dialogue is a great approach to having conversations with compassion and empathy, we can build bridges rather than walls. This approach is critically important in today’s polarized society, where differing opinions can lead to animosity and division.  We want to create a culture of dialogue rather than debate where the outcomes might not be what you expect, remember my post on what happened in Detroit? NO one expected the outcome that we ended up with.

Engaging in respectful conversations allows us to explore the nuances of complex issues. It encourages us to ask questions, seek clarification, and genuinely understand where the other person is coming from. This process not only enriches our own understanding but also helps to humanize the other person, reminding us that behind every opinion is a person with their own story. Here is the main point, When we OWN a conversation or viewpoint many times the other person is not a person to us.

These Practical Steps to Embrace Perspective-Taking ……..

1. Practice Active Listening: Focus on truly hearing what the other person is saying. Avoid interrupting or formulating your response while they speak. Instead, listen with the intent to understand.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the other person to share more about their perspective by asking questions that invite elaboration. For example, “What experiences have shaped your view on this issue?”

3. Reflect Back: After the other person has shared their thoughts, reflect back what you’ve heard. This shows that you are engaged and helps clarify any misunderstandings.This also helps to defuse any building anger.

4. Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize and validate the emotions behind the other person’s perspective. A simple acknowledgment can go a long way in fostering connection. And folks, it is ok to have emotions about subjects you care about, but understand those emotions goes a long way.

5. Be Open to Learning: Approach conversations with a mindset of curiosity. Be willing to learn from the other person’s experiences and insights, even if they challenge your own beliefs.

The ability to see things from another person’s perspective is a gift that can transform our interactions and relationships. By embracing compassion and empathy, we create a space for understanding and connection. Letting go of defensiveness and the need to own another person’s position allows for richer, more meaningful conversations.

In a world that feels so divided right now, the practice of perspective-taking can be a powerful antidote. It reminds us that we are all human, navigating our own journeys, and that understanding one another is the first step toward building a more compassionate and empathetic society. So, let us strive to listen, learn, and connect, one conversation at a time. At this point I would like to ask you to reflect on your own experiences with empathy and perspective-taking and if it make sense to post in comments to help others with their journey.

The story of Jenny

/0 Comments/in , /by

In the heart of a small community nestled between two major highways, there lived a people group bound by a rich tapestry of traditions. These traditions, passed down through generations, were the lifeblood of the community, shaping its identity and guiding its people. Among these people there lived a young woman named Jenny, whose journey too understanding and transformation of her inherited traditions would become a beacon of hope and change.

Jenny grew up listening to her grandmother’s stories, tales woven with the threads of history, culture, and wisdom. Her grandmother, Amma, was the community’s unofficial historian, a keeper of the past who believed deeply in the power of tradition. “Traditions are our treasures,” Amma would say, her eyes twinkling with the light of countless memories. “They carry the wisdom of our ancestors and the values that define us.”

As a child, Jenny embraced these traditions with the innocence and enthusiasm of youth. She participated in the annual community festival, danced in the city street celebrations, and learned the songs that echoed the struggles of her community. These activities were more than just fun; they were a way of life, a connection to something greater than herself.

However, as Jenny grew older, which often happens, she began to see the world through a different lens. She noticed the subtle ways in which some traditions, once life-giving, had become burdensome. The rigid roles assigned to women as an example, the exclusion of certain community members, and the resistance to change were aspects that troubled her. Jenny soon found herself at a crossroads, questioning the very fabric of the way she was raised and what it meant.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Jenny sat with Amma on the porch of their modest home. The air was filled with the scent of the flowers at the edge of the porch, and the distant sound of traffic signaling  the end of another long day. Jenny turned to her grandmother, her voice tinged with uncertainty thinking about the question she had on her mind.

“Amma, do you ever wonder if our traditions need to change?” she asked, her eyes searching for understanding and even meaning.

Amma paused, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “Change is a part of life, my dear,” she replied softly. “Even the strongest trees must bend with the wind. But change must come with wisdom and love, not with anger or haste.”

Jenny pondered her grandmother’s words, realizing that the path to change was not one of rebellion, but of thoughtful transformation. She understood that traditions, like the very community itself, were living entities, capable of growth and adaptation. The challenge lay in discerning which aspects to preserve and which to evolve.

This time of introspection cause a fire to start in her that wanted  to make a difference, so Jenny started on a journey of exploration and dialogue. She began by engaging with the elders of the community, listening to their stories and perspectives. She sought to understand the roots of each tradition, the values they embodied, and the reasons they had endured. Through these conversations, Jenny discovered that many people in the community shared her concerns but feared the loss of identity that change might bring.

To start these discussions, Jenny had to learn and then employ several tools that would help her navigate the complexities of tradition and change. One of the most effective tools was the “circle of dialogue“. She organized gatherings where community members could sit in a circle, fostering an atmosphere of equality and openness. In this setting, everyone had the opportunity to speak and be heard, creating a safe space for sharing thoughts and feelings.

Another tool Jenny found invaluable was the “storytelling method“. By inviting villagers to share their personal experiences related to traditions, she helped them connect emotionally to the issues at hand. This method not only illuminated the diverse perspectives within the community but also highlighted the common threads that bound them together. Through storytelling, Asha encouraged empathy and understanding, allowing members to see the impact of traditions on one another’s lives.

With patience and empathy, Jenny initiated community gatherings where members could openly discuss their hopes and fears. She encouraged a spirit of collaboration, inviting everyone to contribute their ideas for a more inclusive and harmonious future. Slowly, the community began to embrace the notion that traditions could evolve without losing their essence.

One of the first changes Jenny proposed was the inclusion of women in the community council, a role traditionally reserved for men. She argued that the wisdom and perspectives of women were invaluable assets that could enrich the community’s decision-making process. To support this initiative, Jenny organized “workshops” that focused on leadership skills and conflict resolution, empowering women to step into these roles with confidence. After much deliberation, the council agreed to a trial period, and the results were transformative. The inclusion of women brought fresh ideas and a renewed sense of unity, proving that change could indeed be life-giving.

Encouraged by this success, Jenny continued to advocate for other changes, such as the celebration of diversity within the community and the incorporation of sustainable practices in building small cottage businesses. She introduced the concept of the “community center”, where members could come together to grow their businesses while sharing knowledge about sustainable practices. This initiative not only fostered collaboration but also reinforced the idea that traditions could adapt to meet contemporary challenges.

Each step was met with big challenges, but Jenny’s unwavering commitment to non-violence and dialogue paved the way for progress. She understood that resistance to change often stemmed from fear, and she approached each conversation with compassion, seeking to address concerns rather than dismiss them.

As the years passed, the community blossomed into a vibrant oasis where tradition and innovation coexisted harmoniously. The annual community festival, once a symbol of division, became a celebration of unity, with members of all backgrounds coming together to share in the bounty of the hard work they had done.

Jenny’s journey was not without its struggles, but her dedication to non-violence and her belief in the power of dialogue had transformed her community. She had shown that traditions, like the people who uphold them, are capable of growth and change. Through her efforts, Jenny had not only honored the past but had also paved the way for a brighter, more inclusive future.

In the twilight of her life, Jenny sat on the same porch where she had once questioned her grandmother. The community, now a testament to the enduring power of love and understanding, thrived around her. As the sun set on another day, Jenny knew that the journey of tradition was never truly complete. It was a living, breathing entity, forever evolving, forever growing, and forever guided by the gentle hand of non-violence.

As she reflected on her personal journey, Jenny realized that the tools she had employed—dialogue circles, storytelling, workshops, and community initiatives—were not just methods for change; they were expressions of love and respect for her heritage. They allowed her to honor the past while embracing the future, ensuring that the treasures of tradition would continue to shine brightly for generations to come. In this way, Jenny had become a guardian of her culture, a bridge between the old and the new, and a testament to the power of non-violence in the face of change.

What race meant in Detroit in the 60’s

/0 Comments/in /by

Growing Up in Detroit: A Personal Journey Through the 50s and 60s was a time of pain, learning and acceptence

Growing up in Detroit during the 1950s and 60s was like living in a city that was constantly on the brink of transformation. The Motor City was a place of vibrant culture and industry, I loved the singing and the diverse cultures where you could eat anything, listen to far away lands with a sparkle in your eye, dreaming. And, yet, beneath its bustling exciting surface lay deep-seated tensions that would eventually erupt in ways that would change the city forever.

Although we did not know it at the time we were living in a neighborhood on edge and our family lived just a couple of blocks from where the infamous Detroit race riot of 1967 began. My parents wanted to cross the racial barriers in a way that made sense, by moving there and learning, listening and being part of the neighborhood and as a child, I remember our neighborhood as a tapestry of diverse cultures and backgrounds. We were a community bound by shared experiences and struggles, yet divided by the invisible lines of race and opportunity.

The 50s and 60s were a time of great change in America, and Detroit was no exception. The city was a hub of the automotive industry, drawing people from all over the country in search of jobs and a better life. But as the factories thrived, so did the disparities between different communities. Economic opportunities were not equally distributed, and racial segregation was a harsh reality. Much like we have now.

The tensions rose as the civil rights movement gained momentum across the nation, the air in Detroit grew thick with a sense of urgency and unrest. I remember hearing the adults talk in hushed tones about the marches and protests happening in other parts of the country. There was a palpable sense of hope mixed with fear—hope for change, but fear of the unknown. People started to talk about the forced actions of those in charge and what the equal or greater reaction had to be.

The summer of 1967 was particularly hot, very hot, both in temperature and in temperament. The city was a powder keg, and it didn’t take much to ignite it. I was just a young person, not much more than 16, but I could feel the tension in the air. It was as if the whole city was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. And……

And then it did. The riot began on July 23, 1967, after a police raid on an unlicensed bar in the early hours of the morning. What started as a small confrontation quickly escalated into one of the deadliest and most destructive riots in U.S. history. I remember riding back from Palmer Park after playing baseball to the sound of sirens and the smell of smoke which blanketed the sky was a strange, ominous color, and the air was filled with a sense of chaos.

Our neighborhood was caught in the crossfire. The riot you see started a couple of blocks away from our house. I saw buildings that had stood for decades reduced to ashes. Families fled their homes, clutching whatever belongings they could carry. The streets, once filled with the laughter of children playing, were now battlegrounds.

The aftermath in the days that followed, was a city only a shell of its former self. The National Guard was called in, and a Marshall law was imposed. The riot lasted five or six days, leaving more than 43 people dead, hundreds injured, and thousands of buildings destroyed. The scars it left on the city were both physical and emotional.

I was walking down the street during the five days of curfew and up ahead I saw an older black woman sitting on the curb crying bitterly and as I walked up she looked up with her swollen face damp with tears and held out her hand. I sat down next to her and said “mother, what’s going on, how can I help?” Remember that I was young, vibrant and very very white, go with me here—I, being all of 6’4″sitting next to a little woman of of color maybe 5’4″ at best. What a surreal sight we must of been sitting together in the glow of her house burning down and no way to save it and leaning our heads together in common pain.

And as a young person , it was difficult to comprehend the full scope of what had happened. I saw the anger and frustration in the eyes of the adults around me. Many spoke of outside agitators who had come to the city to stir up trouble, but there was also a deep-seated weariness—a collective exhaustion from years of inequality and injustice.

In the years that followed, Detroit struggled to rebuild. The riot had laid bare the systemic issues that had plagued the city for decades. It was a long and difficult road, but there were glimmers of hope. Community leaders emerged, determined to heal the wounds and create a more equitable future. And today if you go to Detroit which I do from time to time I see grass growing up between the cracks greeting the sun to say, “it’s time, it’s time.

For me, growing up in Detroit during this tumultuous time was a formative experience. It taught me about the power of resilience and the importance of standing up for what is right. It showed me the strength of a community that, despite its differences, could come together in times of crisis.

Looking back, I realize that those years in Detroit shaped who I am today. They instilled in me a deep appreciation for diversity and a commitment to justice. The city has changed in many ways since then, but the lessons of the past remain as relevant as ever.

Detroit is a city with a complex history, but it is also a city of hope and possibility. As we continue to confront the challenges of today, I carry with me the memories of a time when the city was tested and emerged stronger for it. The journey is far from over, but I am hopeful for what lies ahead. A note about now…I saw all of what was going on to get us to the point where it exploded, I can say with a certainty that something like that will happen here. Do we really want that to happen?

This post is not about being woke……

/0 Comments/in /by

A journey through our Bias,

In this world that is becoming increasingly interconnected, the importance of diversity for learning, acceptance and finding a way to include cannot be overstated. Yet, despite our differences, we often find ourselves struggling to understand each another. This is where emotional intelligence and tools like the Enneagram can play a transformative role. By exploring the intersections of these concepts, we can enhance our appreciation for diverse perspectives and promote environments that include rather then divide. 

Let’s take a short  journey through a few stories that challenge biases, build cultural competence, and encourage reflection on our own assumptions. Together, we will discover how understanding different Enneagram types can help us foster peaceful communities rooted in inclusivity.

There is power in Emotional intelligence (EI) and its ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also being aware of the emotions of others. It is a crucial skill in navigating the complexities of human interactions, especially in diverse settings. 

Consider the story of Maya, a team leader in a multinational company, who I have worked with. Maya was known for her exceptional emotional intelligence. One day, during a team meeting, she noticed that her colleague, Ahmed, seemed unusually quiet. Instead of pushing forward with the agenda, Maya paused and asked Ahmed how he was feeling. (This is one of the most powerful things you can do with another person, as we DO NOT know what is going on inside of someone else)

“Honestly, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed,” he admitted. “I’m the only one from my background in this meeting, and I sometimes feel like my voice doesn’t matter.”

Maya’s empathetic response opened the door for a deeper conversation about the challenges of being a minority in a predominantly different culture. By acknowledging Ahmed’s feelings, she not only validated his experience but also created a safe space for him to express himself. This moment of emotional intelligence fostered a sense of belonging and encouraged Ahmed to share his unique perspectives, enriching the whole team’s discussions. Another side benefit is that understanding another’s culture/life is a way to expand your own journey in ways that may surprise you. Lynette and I have traveled all over the world for work and although exhausting at times, changed our entire outlook on living life together with others and not living in a bubble.

Understanding the Enneagram  is a powerful tool for working with other personality types and the motivations behind our behaviors. It consists of nine distinct types, each with its own strengths, weaknesses, and ways of perceiving the world. By understanding these types, we can gain insights into how different individuals approach challenges, communicate, and relate to others.

By looking at the Enneagram through the lens of another story we can see how this works—this time featuring Sarah, a passionate advocate for diversity and inclusion. Sarah is a Type 2, known as the Giver. She thrives on supporting others and creating harmonious relationships. However, her desire to help can sometimes lead her to overlook her own needs.

During a workshop on diversity, Sarah met James, a Type 5, known as the Observer. James is analytical and values knowledge above all else. While Sarah was eager to engage in discussions about emotional experiences, James preferred to observe and analyze from a distance. Initially, Sarah felt frustrated by James’s quiet demeanor, interpreting it as disinterest.

However, as the workshop progressed, Sarah learned about the Enneagram and realized that James’s approach was simply different from her own. Instead of pushing him to participate, she began to appreciate his thoughtful insights when he did choose to speak. This understanding transformed their dynamic, allowing Sarah to embrace the diversity of thought that James brought to the table. And while Sarah admitted that allowing her normal thoughts to be more accepting was not easy the rewards were worth it.

Challenging biases through interactive stories can foster inclusivity, as we confront our biases and assumptions. Interactive storytelling can be a powerful tool for this purpose. Go with me as we imagine a scenario where you are part of a community meeting discussing a new initiative aimed at improving local resources. I have taken this scenario from the a mixture of countless board meetings I have been part of.

As the meeting unfolds, you notice a newcomer, Priya, who has just moved to the area. She shares her perspective on the initiative, drawing from her experiences in a different country. However, instead of listening, you find yourself dismissing her ideas, thinking, “What does she know about our community?”

Now, pause for a moment. What if you were to step into Priya’s shoes? Imagine the courage it took for her to speak up in a room full of unfamiliar faces. By reflecting on her experiences, you might begin to see the value in her insights. This exercise challenges your biases and encourages you to embrace diverse perspectives.

Building cultural competence is the ability to understand, communicate with, and effectively interact with people across cultures. It requires an ongoing commitment to learning and growth. 

I watched Maya, who decided to implement a cultural competence training program in her organization. She invited employees to share their stories and experiences related to diversity. One day, a quiet employee named Luis, a Type 9 known as the Mediator, shared his journey of growing up in a bilingual household. 

“I often felt caught between two cultures,” Luis explained. “I wanted to fit in with my peers, but I also cherished my heritage. It was a constant balancing act.”

Maya listened intently, recognizing the importance of Luis’s story. She encouraged others to share their experiences, creating a rich tapestry of narratives that highlighted the beauty of diversity. This initiative not only built cultural competence but also fostered a sense of community and belonging among employees.

**Reflecting on Our Own Biases**

Reflecting on our own biases as we navigate the complexities of diversity and inclusion, it’s essential to look at our own biases and assumptions. Consider the following questions:

1. What assumptions do I hold about individuals from different backgrounds?

2. How can I challenge these assumptions and open myself to new perspectives?

3. In what ways can I use my emotional intelligence to create a more inclusive environment?

By engaging in this self-reflection, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that prevent us from fully embracing diversity. 

**The Importance of Inclusivity in Fostering Peaceful Communities**

Ultimately, the importance of inclusivity in fostering peaceful communities is not just about creating a diverse environment; it’s about building those peaceful communities. When individuals feel valued and heard, they are more likely to contribute positively to their surroundings. 

Let’s back in with Sarah and James. After their initial misunderstandings, they began collaborating on a project that combined Sarah’s passion for community engagement with James’s analytical skills. Together, they developed a program that addressed the needs of underrepresented groups in their community. 

Their partnership not only strengthened their relationship but also created a ripple effect of inclusivity. Others in their organization began to recognize the value of diverse perspectives, leading to a more harmonious and productive workplace.

As we navigate the complexities of diversity and inclusion, let us remember the power of emotional intelligence and the Enneagram in fostering understanding and appreciation for one another. By embracing our differences and challenging our biases, we can create inclusive environments that promote peaceful communities.

Through these stories of empathy, reflection, and growth, we can inspire one another to become advocates for diversity and inclusion. Together, let’s embark on this journey, recognizing that our unique perspectives are what make our communities vibrant and resilient. 

In the end, it is our collective commitment to understanding and embracing diversity that will pave the way for a more peaceful and inclusive world. I also want to make sure that you understand the words “diversity” and “inclusion” are not dirty words. When we throw around words and they become commonplace we tend to look at them differently they were intended. Check out what the Pew Research Center says about people coming to our country since 1850. You might be surprised to find out they are your ancestors.

Finding Calm in Chaos

/2 Comments/in /by

Finding Calm in Chaos How Mindfulness Transforms Emotional Regulation

I really could imagine standing in the eye of a storm, because it has often happened to me, where everything around me was chaotic, and at times I felt out of control.  Yet with mindfulness I  remained calm and centered. This is a story about  the power of mindfulness in emotional regulation. Using myself as the subject and by integrating these simple practices into my daily life, I was able to transform how I  responded to the world around me and found a life more filled with joy and happiness.

Let’s start with the story of Sarah, a busy professional who once felt overwhelmed by her emotions and often acted impulsively without thought to the outcomes. She was juggling work deadlines, family responsibilities with her wonderful 3 kids and social commitments that left her feeling anxious and reactive. However, when she had no where else to turn she tried a simple mindfulness practice that a friend recommended to her, and everything changed almost overnight. When she went to the course put on by one of my favorite teachers, Jon Cabot Zinn, he taught her the basics of meditation, deep breathing exercises, and body awareness techniques. Sarah learned to regain control over her emotional responses. Her journey continues today with a deeper understanding of why we need tools to become free and illustrates the profound impact mindfulness can have on emotional intelligence.

When you have a regular mindfulness practice you are able to enhance emotional regulation.    Some effective mindfulness practices that can help you manage your emotions are listed here.

Meditation is a way to start and starting with just five minutes a day to center your thoughts. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. This simple practice can help clear your mind and set a positive tone for the day.

Deep Breathing helps in moments of stress, by reminding us to just breathe. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth. This technique can significantly reduce reactivity and bring a sense of calm. This type of breathing is called box breathing.

Body Awareness is how you tune into your physical sensations. Take a moment to notice how your body feels—are there areas of tension? Acknowledging these sensations can foster self-awareness and help you respond to emotions more thoughtfully.

One of my favorite things for creating a mindful environment is to picture yourself in a serene garden: each breath is a gentle breeze that calms your mind. This is the pure essence of mindfulness—a practice that brings peace amidst the world’s noise. If you want to cultivate this environment, consider incorporating elements that promote tranquility, such as plants, calming colors, or soothing sounds.

I have, like many of you, struggled with emotional reactivity. I could get mad or even jealous at the drop of a hat. It is not very attractive to others that I was close to, and frankly I lost friendships because of my non-regulation. When I had nothing else to lose and embraced mindfulness, it turned out to be a game-changer for me, helping me to navigate the hard challenges of life with grace and composure. I found that by practicing mindfulness regularly, I could respond to stressors with a clearer mind and a more balanced perspective.

I had to understand what it meant to “Engage with MY journey,” meaning what was going on inside of me. As an invitation, how do you currently manage stress? I invite you to share your experiences in the comments below. By doing this we can explore mindfulness together and support one another on this journey toward emotional regulation.

By weaving and embracing mindfulness into your daily routine, you will not only manage your emotional responses but also promote non-violent behavior. Why is this important? Because we don’t realize how often we do violence to ourselves with our responses to emotions. Start today, and experience the tranquility that mindfulness brings. Remember please, every small step counts on the path to emotional well-being.

 

Building Empathy in Politics

/0 Comments/in /by

Building Empathy in Politics: A Path to Understanding and Compassion

I wanted to step into this arena because I think it is important to talk about. I do NOT in anyway think one group is better than another and this is not meant to be an endorsement of a group. Being a MCC, Master Certified Coach with ICF, the International Coach Federation, gives me a slightly different perspective using empathy and in an era marked by political polarization and divisive, destructive rhetoric. The need for empathy in politics has never been more critical! Empathy—is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others and of your own feelings, as 6 Seconds likes to say—can serve as a bridge across ideological divides, fostering dialogue and collaboration. This blog post while talking about a tough subject explores various empathy-building activities designed to enhance understanding among people you know and yourself. It can be used in team building, family conversations and other communities, encouraging them to step into the shoes of others and appreciate diverse experiences and backgrounds. By cultivating empathy, we can promote non-violent interactions and create a more compassionate political landscape.

The Importance of Empathy in Politics

Politics is often viewed as a battleground where opposing views clash, leading to hostility and misunderstanding. However, at its core, politics is about people—individuals with unique experiences, values, and aspirations. Empathy allows us to connect with these individuals on a human level, transcending ideological differences. When we practice empathy, we open ourselves to understanding the motivations and fears that drive others, paving the way for constructive dialogue and collaboration. YES, I know that doing this type of perspective is hard or even impossible from where you stand now. I can promise you that if you practice empathy you will be able to heal relationships that you thought were broken for ever. So please look at these activities with me and see which one may work for you……..

Activity 1: Role-Playing Scenarios

Role-playing is a powerful tool for enhancing empathy. By stepping into the shoes of others, you can gain insights into different perspectives and experiences. Here’s how to conduct a role-playing activity focused on political issues:

1.Choose Scenarios: Select relevant political scenarios that highlight differing viewpoints. For example, you could role-play a town hall meeting discussing a controversial policy, such as immigration reform or climate change.

2. Assign Roles: Divide the people into groups and assign them roles representing various stakeholders—such as community members, policymakers, activists, and business owners. Encourage them to research their roles and understand the motivations behind their perspectives.

3. Facilitate the Discussion: Allow each group to present their viewpoints in a structured discussion. Encourage participants to express their characters’ feelings and concerns authentically.

4. Debrief: After the role-play, hold a debriefing session. Ask everyone to reflect on their experiences. What did they learn about the perspectives of others? How did it feel to advocate for a viewpoint different from their own?

Through this activity, everyone can develop a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding political issues, fostering empathy for those with differing opinions.

Activity 2: Active Listening Exercises

Active listening is a crucial skill for fostering empathy. It involves fully concentrating, understanding, and responding to what others are saying. Here’s a simple exercise to enhance active listening skills:

1. Pair Up Participants: Divide everyone into pairs and have them sit facing each other.

2. Set a Timer: Assign one person in each pair to speak for three minutes about a political issue that matters to them. The other person should listen without interrupting.

3. Reflect and Respond: After the speaker finishes, the listener should summarize what they heard, reflecting back the speaker’s feelings and concerns. Then, they can ask clarifying questions to deepen their understanding.

4. Switch Roles: After the first round, have participants switch roles and repeat the exercise.

5. Group Discussion: After both rounds, bring everyone back together for a group discussion. Encourage everyone to share their experiences. How did it feel to be listened to? What insights did they gain from listening to others?

This exercise not only enhances empathy but also builds trust and respect among individuals  and groups, creating a more open and understanding environment.

Activity 3: Perspective-Taking Tasks

Perspective-taking tasks challenge participants to consider issues from viewpoints different from their own. This activity can be particularly effective in political discussions, where entrenched beliefs often hinder understanding. Here’s how to facilitate a perspective-taking exercise:

1. Identify a Controversial Topic: Choose a political issue that elicits strong opinions, such as healthcare reform or gun control.

2. Research and Prepare: Assign each person to research the topic from multiple perspectives. Encourage them to explore articles, interviews, and personal stories that represent various viewpoints.

3. Group Sharing: In small groups, have each person share what they learned about the different perspectives. Encourage them to discuss the underlying values and emotions that drive each viewpoint.

4. Reflect on Common Ground: After sharing, ask participants to identify common values or concerns that emerged from the discussion. What do they all care about, even if they disagree on solutions?

5. Personal Reflection: Finally, encourage everyone to reflect on how this exercise impacted their understanding of the issue. Did it change their perspective? How can they apply this empathy in their daily lives?

By engaging in perspective-taking, you can cultivate a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding political issues, fostering a culture of compassion and respect.

Practicing Empathy in Daily Life

Building empathy in a workshop or group setting is just the beginning. To create lasting change, you must practice empathy in your daily life. Here are some strategies to encourage ongoing empathy-building:

1. Engage in Conversations: Encourage contributors to engage in conversations with people who hold different political views. Approach these discussions with curiosity and a willingness to listen.

2. Volunteer in the Community: Volunteering for local organizations can expose participants to diverse experiences and challenges faced by others. This firsthand experience can deepen their understanding and empathy.

3. Reflect on Interactions: Encourage everyone to reflect on their daily interactions. How do they respond to differing opinions? Are they open to understanding others, or do they dismiss opposing views?

4. Share Stories: Create opportunities for participants to share personal stories related to political issues. Storytelling can humanize complex topics and foster empathy among listeners.

5. Model Empathy: Encourage the group to model empathetic behavior in their communities. By demonstrating compassion and understanding, they can inspire others to do the same.

 The Impact of Empathy on Relationships and Community Dynamics

As you cultivate empathy, you will likely notice positive changes in your relationships and community dynamics. Empathy fosters trust, respect, and collaboration, creating an environment where diverse voices are heard and valued. When individuals feel understood, they are more likely to engage in constructive dialogue and work together toward common goals.

Moreover, empathy can help reduce conflict and promote non-violent interactions. In a political landscape often characterized by hostility and division, empathy serves as a powerful antidote, encouraging individuals to seek common ground rather than focusing on differences.

A Call to Action

In a world where political polarization seems to dominate the conversation, the importance of empathy cannot be overstated. By engaging in empathy-building activities, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of diverse experiences and foster a culture of compassion. As we practice empathy in our daily lives, we can create a more inclusive and respectful political landscape.

Let us commit to stepping into the shoes of others, listening actively, and embracing the complexities of our shared humanity. Together, we can build bridges across divides, promote non-violent interactions, and cultivate a more compassionate society. The journey toward empathy begins with each of us—let’s take that first step today.

Peace and every good to you…

Jim

A Few Stories….

/0 Comments/in /by

I wanted to share a few stories of self-discovery….

In this world we find ourselves that is bustling with activity and constant distractions, finding a moment of quiet reflection can be challenging at best. Yet, I find the journey toward self-awareness is a rewarding path that had lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others. Through the series of stories below, we can explore how these individuals have embarked on their journey, using tools like journaling, meditation, and the Enneagram to uncover their true selves.

The Journal of Emily: Unveiling Emotional Triggers

Emily always felt overwhelmed by her emotions, especially in stressful situations. She decided to start a journal, hoping to make sense of her feelings. One evening, she sat down with a cup of tea and began writing about her day. As she wrote, she noticed a pattern: her frustration often stemmed from feeling unappreciated at work.

Through her journaling, Emily discovered that her emotional triggers were linked to her need for validation. This realization was a turning point I her life. She began to explore ways to communicate her needs more effectively, both at work and in her personal life. Sharing her insights with a close friend, Emily found support and encouragement, which helped her grow more confident in expressing herself.

David’s Meditation Journey: Finding Peace Within ( I find Davids journey like my own)

David had always been skeptical about meditation. However, after hearing about its benefits, he decided to give it a try. He joined a guided meditation group, where he learned to focus on his breath and observe his thoughts without judgment.

During one session, David was guided through a body scan meditation. As he relaxed, he noticed tension in his shoulders and a knot in his stomach. The instructor encouraged him to breathe into these areas, releasing the tension with each exhale. As he did, David realized that his physical discomfort was linked to his anxiety about an upcoming presentation.

This insight was profound. By acknowledging his anxiety, David was able to address it directly, rather than letting it fester and grow. After the session, he shared his experience with the group, finding comfort in knowing that others faced similar challenges. Meditation became a regular practice for David, helping him navigate life’s stresses with greater ease.

Sarah’s Reflective Discussions: Building Connections

Sarah was part of a community group that met weekly for reflective discussions. Each session began with a simple question: “What did you learn about yourself this week?” At first, Sarah was hesitant to share, worried about being judged. But as she listened to others, she realized that everyone was on their own journey of self-discovery.

One week, Sarah shared a story about a disagreement with a friend. Through the discussion, she recognized that her reaction was rooted in a fear of abandonment. This insight allowed her to approach the situation with empathy, leading to a heartfelt conversation with her friend.

The group became a safe space for Sarah, where she could explore her emotions and learn from others. The support and understanding she found there helped her grow more confident in her relationships, both with herself and others.

Exploring the Enneagram: Tom’s Path to Understanding

Tom had always been curious about personality frameworks, so when he heard about the Enneagram, he was intrigued. He discovered that he was a Type 3, the Achiever, driven by success and validation. This revelation was both enlightening and challenging.

As Tom delved deeper into the Enneagram, he realized that his pursuit of success often overshadowed his true self. He began to question whether his achievements were aligned with his values or simply a means to gain approval. This introspection led Tom to make significant changes in his life, focusing on authenticity rather than external validation.

Tom shared his journey with his Enneagram study group, where others were exploring their own types. Through these discussions, Tom gained new perspectives and learned to appreciate the diversity of motivations and fears that drive human behavior. The Enneagram became a tool for personal growth, helping Tom build more authentic relationships.

When you start on the Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery you will be excited….

These stories can illustrate for you the transformative power of self-awareness. Whether through journaling, meditation, reflective discussions, or the Enneagram, each individual found a path to deeper understanding and personal growth. Their journeys remind us/me that self-awareness is not a destination but a continuous process of exploration and reflection. You WILL have ups and downs.

As you embark on your own journeys,  remember the importance of community and support. By sharing your insights and learning from one another, you can create a space of understanding and compassion, fostering personal growth and deeper connections with those around us. And together, we can navigate the complexities of this life with greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

 

Connecting Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram

/0 Comments/in /by

Connecting Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram: A Pathway to Non-Violence

In this world increasingly marked by conflict and misunderstanding, the need for effective communication and emotional understanding has never been more critical for all of us. Two of the powerful tools I have been talking about that can facilitate this understanding are Emotional Intelligence (EI) and the Enneagram. While they originate from different frameworks, their way of intersecting offers profound insights with our human behavior, enhancing self-awareness and empathy—two essential components of emotional intelligence. Today’s blog post explores how these tools complement each other in promoting non-violence, providing real-life examples and case studies to illustrate their application in resolving conflicts and fostering harmonious relationships.

 Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also being able to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others. Daniel Goleman and Josh Freedman, pioneers in the field, Daniel  identifies five key components of EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills, while Josh identifies  (my favorite) Know, Choose, Give. These components are crucial in navigating interpersonal relationships and resolving conflicts peacefully.

The Enneagram: A Tool for Self-Discovery

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that categorizes human behavior into nine distinct types, each with its own motivations, fears, and coping mechanisms. Understanding one’s Enneagram type can significantly enhance self-awareness, as it provides insights into our core motivations and emotional triggers. This self-awareness is the first step toward developing emotional intelligence.The Nine Enneagram Types

1. Type One: The Reformer – Principled, purposeful, and self-controlled.

2.Type Two: The Helper – Generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.

3. Type Three: The Achiever – Adaptable, driven, and image-conscious.

4. Type Four: The Individualist – Sensitive, introspective, and self-absorbed.

5. Type Five: The Investigator – Perceptive, innovative, and secretive.

6. Type Six: The Loyalist – Committed, security-oriented, and anxious.

7. Type Seven: The Enthusiast – Spontaneous, versatile, and scattered.

8. Type Eight: The Challenger – Self-confident, decisive, and confrontational.

9. Type Nine: The Peacemaker- Receptive, reassuring, and complacent.

The Intersection of EI and the Enneagram

Enhancing Self-Awareness

Understanding one’s Enneagram type can significantly enhance self-awareness, a foundational element of emotional intelligence. For instance, a Type One (Reformer) may recognize their tendency toward perfectionism and how it can lead to frustration and conflict with others. By acknowledging this trait, they can work on self-regulation, learning to manage their expectations and communicate more effectively with those around them.

Fostering Empathy

Empathy, another critical component of emotional intelligence, can also be deepened through the lens of the Enneagram. For example, a Type Two (Helper) may struggle with setting boundaries, often leading to feelings of resentment. By understanding their type, they can better empathize with others’ needs and learn to communicate their own more effectively. This understanding fosters healthier relationships and reduces the likelihood of conflict.

Case Studies: Real-Life Applications

 Case Study 1: Workplace Conflict Resolution

In a corporate setting, a team comprised of various Enneagram types faced significant conflict due to differing communication styles. A Type Eight (Challenger) was often perceived as aggressive, while a Type Nine (Peacemaker) felt overwhelmed and silenced. By facilitating a workshop on the Enneagram and emotional intelligence, team members gained insights into each other’s motivations and fears. The Type Eight learned to temper their assertiveness with empathy, while the Type Nine found their voice, leading to improved collaboration and a more harmonious work environment.

Case Study 2: Family Dynamics

In a family struggling with communication, a Type Four (Individualist) often felt misunderstood, leading to emotional outbursts. By exploring the Enneagram together, family members learned to appreciate the Type Four’s depth of feeling and creativity. The Type Four, in turn, gained insights into their emotional triggers and learned to express their needs more clearly. This mutual understanding fostered empathy and reduced conflict, promoting a more peaceful family dynamic.

 Encouraging Non-Violent Interactions

The insights gained from understanding one’s Enneagram type can inform emotional responses and interactions with others. For instance, a Type Six (Loyalist) may recognize their tendency to become anxious in uncertain situations. By acknowledging this, they can practice self-regulation techniques, such as deep breathing or seeking support from others, rather than reacting defensively. This awareness not only helps them manage their emotions but also promotes non-violent communication with those around them.

Practical Steps for our readers

1. Identify Your Enneagram Type: Take an Enneagram assessment to understand your core motivations and emotional triggers.

2. Reflect on Your Emotions: Consider how your type influences your emotional responses in various situations.

3. Practice Empathy: Engage in active listening and try to understand the perspectives of others, especially those with different Enneagram types.

4. Communicate Openly: Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without placing blame on others.

5. Seek Feedback: Encourage open dialogue with friends, family, or colleagues about how your behavior affects them.

Conclusion

The integration of Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram offers a powerful framework for promoting non-violence in our interactions. By enhancing self-awareness and empathy, individuals can navigate conflicts more effectively and foster harmonious relationships. As we deepen our understanding of ourselves and others through these tools, we pave the way for a more compassionate and peaceful world. Embracing the insights gained from the Enneagram can lead to transformative changes in how we respond to our emotions and interact with those around us, reinforcing the vital connection between self-understanding and non-violent behavior and my goal is to continue to give you thoughts and ideas to help on the journey of intergration.

Peace and every good to you.

 

A way to non-violence

/2 Comments/in /by

Connecting Emotional Intelligence and the Enneagram: What would happen if we had a discussion on how emotional intelligence and the Enneagram complement each other in promoting non-violence. Could we highlight the ways in which understanding one’s Enneagram type can enhance self-awareness and empathy, both of which are crucial components of emotional intelligence? This is a  case study and real-life examples to illustrate how these tools can be applied to resolve conflicts, improve communication, and foster harmonious relationships. We encourage participants to consider how their Enneagram insights can inform their emotional responses and interactions with others, reinforcing the connection between self-understanding and non-violent behavior.

This is case study using the Delent Group and that they did to help all of the companies stakeholders understand how to combat violence

Case Study: The Delent (name changed to protect the  company identity) groups journey to integrating the Enneagram and Emotional Intelligence to Support Non-Violence

The background

In a diverse urban community facing challenges related to violence and social unrest, a local non-profit organization sought innovative approaches to foster peace and understanding among its residents. The organization decided to implement a program that combined the Enneagram personality system with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) training to address the root causes of conflict and promote non-violence.

Their Objective

The primary objective was to help all stakeholders understand their own and others’ emotional responses and behaviors, thereby reducing misunderstandings and conflicts. By integrating the Enneagram with EQ, the program was aimed at tools to enhance self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication among the community members.

The Implementation

1. Workshops and Training Sessions: The program began with a series of workshops introducing participants to the Enneagram’s nine personality types. Each participant identified their Enneagram type, gaining insights into their core motivations, fears, and desires.

2. Emotional Intelligence Development: At the same time, participants engaged in EQ training, focusing on self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. This training helped individuals recognize and manage their emotions and understand the emotional dynamics of others.

3.We had integration sessions: Special sessions were held to integrate the Enneagram insights with EQ skills. Participants learned how their Enneagram type influenced their emotional responses and how to apply EQ strategies to manage these responses constructively.

4. We then did conflict resolution exercises: Role-playing and group exercises were conducted to practice non-violent communication and conflict resolution. Participants used their understanding of the Enneagram and EQ to navigate and resolve simulated conflicts. This process had up and down success until the process became embedded in the company.

Promising Outcomes

Increased Self-Awareness: Participants reported a deeper understanding of their emotional triggers and behavioral patterns. For example, a participant identified as an Enneagram Type 8 (The Protector) learned to recognize their tendency towards confrontation and applied EQ techniques to pause and choose more constructive responses. It took practice to get to a place of automatic response.

Enhanced Empathy and Understanding: By understanding the Enneagram types of others, participants developed greater empathy and appreciation for different perspectives. This understanding helped to reduce prejudices and fostered a more inclusive community environment.

Improved Communication: The integration of EQ skills with Enneagram insights led to more effective communication. Participants were better equipped to express their needs and listen to others, reducing misunderstandings and fostering collaboration.

Reduction in Conflicts: Over six months, the community reported a noticeable decrease in conflicts and violent incidents. Participants attributed this change to their improved ability to manage emotions and engage in non-violent communication.

The Conclusion

The case study demonstrates that integrating the Enneagram with Emotional Intelligence can be a powerful approach to supporting non-violence. By enhancing self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills, individuals are better equipped to understand and manage their emotions and interactions, leading to a more peaceful and harmonious community. This approach can serve as a model for other communities seeking to address violence and promote social cohesion. And while this approach is not new in anyway maintaining this direction takes effort and a desire to live in a more agreeable way.